I wrote the book because I see parents doing the hardest job in the world, often without the support and information they need. I'm an attachment theorist, so I was steeped in attachment theory before I had children or had ever read a book on parenting. Obviously, secure attachment is essential for healthy development. But secure attachment comes from how parents respond to their child's emotions, not just from whether parents follow certain Attachment practices. I find that parents aren't given enough help with emotion -- their own, or their child's. So learning to accept and regulate our own emotions as parents is the first step of parenting. That gives us the foundation to help our children with their emotions, even while we guide their behavior. And once kids can regulate their emotions, they can manage their behavior -- as long as we've maintained the positive connection that makes them WANT to.