I know that something hits home for me when I want to read it over and over. Like this passage...
"Children don't usually wake up one day and think, 'I'm going to bug the heck out of my parents today. It's going to be fun. I'm going to watch their anxiety and displeasure with glee!' Most children do not intentionally set out to bug their parents. They do try to get their own needs met, sometimes at the cost of their parent's needs. However, it's not about us. It's all about them.
When children willfully disobey, they are saying, 'My needs matter more than yours right now'. Usually it's a pattern of where one person's needs are met in the relationship, and they are usually not the child's. They are usually the parent's needs. A parent would do better to really examine what the child is communicating." (p. 63)
When combining that passage with the discussion of Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs on pages 64-66, I really had an "ah-ha" moment. I never really thought of the need to run around and be active as a core survival need, for example. or the need to be free of ridicule (from wearing a helmet) as a security need. Very enlightening!
"Children don't usually wake up one day and think, 'I'm going to bug the heck out of my parents today. It's going to be fun. I'm going to watch their anxiety and displeasure with glee!' Most children do not intentionally set out to bug their parents. They do try to get their own needs met, sometimes at the cost of their parent's needs. However, it's not about us. It's all about them.
When children willfully disobey, they are saying, 'My needs matter more than yours right now'. Usually it's a pattern of where one person's needs are met in the relationship, and they are usually not the child's. They are usually the parent's needs. A parent would do better to really examine what the child is communicating." (p. 63)
When combining that passage with the discussion of Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs on pages 64-66, I really had an "ah-ha" moment. I never really thought of the need to run around and be active as a core survival need, for example. or the need to be free of ridicule (from wearing a helmet) as a security need. Very enlightening!
I can definitely read in your thread about how tired you are and you acknowledge this. I wonder, does she give a reason for why she isn't wanting to put the supplies away? You know that you need to put the boys to bed as well as feel like it's one less thing for you to do in regards to putting crafts away but we're unsure of what her need is in not wanting to help put it away despite the agreement?
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