I also appreciated this passage on page 40: "At what age should a parent seek input into a rule from a child? Usually, when the child is ignoring, rebelling against, or balking against a rule. That's a first indication the rule doesn't meet everyone's needs and may require reworking." And on page 42: "If you've made a rule that isn't working for all concerned, don't be afraid to change it. Simply tell the child or family member, 'This rule isn't working for me. My needs are not getting met. What can we do instead?'. And finally, also on page 42, "We don't have discipline problems in our house. We have conflicts that need to be negotiated."
This whole way of framing things really resonates with me. How about you? Do you feel a need to be "consistent" in your rules? If so, why? When your child balks at a rule (or breaks it), is your instinct to enforce the rule more strictly, or to renegotiate the rule into something that the child is more likely to follow?