Attachment Parenting International Blog » Feed with Love and Respect

Is She Too Attached?

stephanie — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 16:24:02 +0000

My 8 month old daughter, Penelope, is going through a separation anxiety phase. If I walk out of her eye sight, even for a second, even if Peter, my husband, or someone else is sitting with her and playing, she cries. She is a MAMA’S GIRL right now. When her anxiety first showed up, I was concerned. I thought, “Oh, God, what have I done?!” Is she TOO attached? Have I taken Attachment Parenting to an extreme and done damage? I thought, “should I finally get a babysitter and leave her with someone other than my husband and “teach” her to be OK.” Which, of course, had been so often told to me to do by my neighbors and some friends. I have also been told, to simply let her fuss for a bit and not immediately pick her up and tend to her.

Luckily, I snapped out of my doubt, and regained my confidence, before I heeded any of that advice. Even if her behavior is not the stereotypical- 8-month-baby-separation-anxiety-phase, and she simply wants me all. of. the. time.its perfectly fine with me. I am her mother, she is my baby, we are still deeply connected through my breast milk that I make for her. To me breastfeeding, feels like an extended, energetic umbilical cord. I hold her all day long, I sleep and cuddle with her all night long. I want to be in close contact with her, as much as she wants to be in close contact with me. This is what is supposed to be happening. This is how mothering and baby rearing is supposed to be.

One of my most favorite books, is the Continum Concept. When I read it, before I was a mother and I was a Nanny, it turned on a light bulb in my head. What a novel idea, that babies are EXPECTING to be with their mothers at all times! They are expecting that Mama, or a really great close Mama substitute for the time being (like a fabulous Nanny, like I was), is going to be right there, every step of the way. I will admit, that sometimes I dream of lounging by the pool, or going out to dinner and then (gasp!) a movie with my husband, but most of the time, I am thrilled to meeting her every need and demand. I love knowing that she has not once, Cried It Out, to go to sleep. I love knowing, that she knows, if she communicates to me that she needs me, that I will be there, every. single. time. She completely trusts me and that makes it all worth it.

Stephanie, is SAHM in Tallahassee, Fl. She has one daughter, Penelope, born on 11.11.09 at home, in water and into her own two hands. You can find her at her blog: Mama and Baby Love

Involving Children in Food

Amber — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 11:00:20 +0000

I breastfed both of my babies. Once we got the hang of things, it was easy. When they were hungry, or wanted comfort, they nursed. Simple. Then I introduced solid foods, and the world changed. Feeding with love and respect took on new meaning. Food altogether took on new meaning. Suddenly, there was a question of what and how much to offer. Suddenly, I could see exactly how much my child did (or didn’t) eat. And frequently, I worried.

Thankfully, I found a lot of gentle and common-sense wisdom on feeding kids. I realized that just as at the breast, I could trust my children to set their own pace and schedule with solid foods as well. As long as I generally offered them healthy food, I could leave the rest to them.

Even after making this realization, I am still not as zen about my kids’ eating habits as I would like to be. Sometimes when they’re being really picky I still sweat it. And sometimes they really chafe against the healthy options presented. I decided that presenting healthy options wasn’t enough – I needed to get them involved in the food they ate.

After all, I am raising people who will hopefully feed themselves one day. I want them to know where their food comes from. I want them to appreciate the impact of their choices on their own health and the health of the planet. And I want them to have basic food preparation skills. And I think that steps I can take now can help.

I involve my children in food a few ways:

They help me prepare meals. This doesn’t always go smoothly, but most of the time I can find tasks that are age-appropriate and fun. Sticking fruit on skewers, stirring and pouring are 3 favourite food prep activities for my preschoolers.
We work in the garden together. No food tastes better than the food you’ve picked fresh yourself. And growing your own fruit and veggies provides the ideal window into where food actually comes from.
We visit farmer’s markets and buy fresh, local, whole foods. I chat with the growers, sample heirloom tomatoes, and give my kids a window into a world where food doesn’t come in boxes with cartoon characters on the front.
We visit farms. Our home is in the suburbs, so my kids don’t get to see chickens or cows in their daily life. By heading out to the country they can see where their milk and eggs come from, and how the animals live.

By following my children’s own hunger and thirst cues, I am teaching them that I love and respect them. By providing them with healthy options I am trying to ensure that they eat a nutritious and well-balanced diet. And by involving my children in the food that the eat, I’m teaching them that there is a whole lot of backstory to every bite they take. I hope that by knowing that backstory, they will come to appreciate their food much more.

How do you involve your children in their food? I would love to hear!

You can catch up with Amber’s regular adventures in food on her blog at Strocel.com.

If You Can Grow Kids, You Can Grow Anything

Sharron — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 15:27:19 +0000

"So, this is where garlic bread comes from?"

I spent this morning digging up garlic bulbs with my delighted 5-year-old daughter. She shouted every time she brought one out of the earth and into the scorching July sun. We stopped at 50 bulbs; both of us hot, dirty and reeking of garlic. It was fun for both of us, but also profound. She loves garlic bread, but never would have imagined this delicious treat could come from under the dirt!

Growing vegetables is more than a hobby for me. Oh sure, I’m geeky enough to take pictures of my garden and post them on Facebook. But farming is part of my past, present and future. I’m the granddaughter of farmers on both sides of my family and have always known where food comes from – both animal and vegetable. For me, growing food is an essential life skill for my children – and if my dreams come true someday – for all children. Just as I teach my girls the alphabet, I also show them how to plant seeds, water and mulch them, and most importantly, how to harvest and prepare the food. What they get from the process is part science lesson, part cooking lesson and part spiritual awakening. Children begin to see the cycle of life in gardening, but issues of life and death are a lot less scary when dealing with plants. Farming also raises the consciousness of children about their food supply. At the age of four, our daughter refused to eat pork when she found out it came from pigs, her favorite animal. This lasted for an entire year with our full support.

MOM DARE: Have you ever gardened for yourself or your children? If so, did you really include them or did you ask them to step aside to protect your plants? Perhaps you could try harder to let them do hands-on work. Don’t criticize when they blast your tomato plants with a hose instead of watering around the base. Or when they gleefully dig up more carrots than you can eat in a month. Share them with friends and applaud your child’s interest. I still cringe a little when my children bring me a handful of freshly picked flowers from my gardens (I don’t grow many flowers), but someday I will miss this simple joy. Never had a garden? Now is the time to grow one thing with your children. Even apartment dwellers have abundant choices when it comes to growing vegetables and fruit. You can start simply with seeds in a windowsill, showing your children what happens without sunlight or water. At the very least, don’t just take your children to the farmer’s market, take them to an actual farm. Let them walk the rows, pick some berries and ask questions. Not only will this start a process of educating your children about life, ecosystems and healthy choices; but you will create joyful memories to carry with you for the rest of your lives.

Sharron Wright is the work-at-home mother of three girls, ages 2, 5 and 7. Her mission is to help other new parents feel empowered and to instill in them the confidence to care for their babies in a loving, positive way that respects the uniqueness of all children. She blogs at http://momswithgrace.wordpress.com and helps new moms at www.babylovecarebook.com

Keeping Your Breast Milk Healthy

kayris — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 11:00:09 +0000

Breastfeeding is widely touted as the healthiest way to feed your baby. Each mother’s milk is tailored to her baby’s specific needs. Breast milk is highly digestible and full of maternal antibodies. Breast milk from the source is always warm, never spoils and has never been recalled due to contamination.

However, several recent stories in the news have raised concerns about a mother’s influence on the safety of her milk. After a mother was arrested and charged with neglect for breastfeeding her baby while intoxicated, many wondered how much alcohol, if any, is safe while breastfeeding. Then the issue of environmental toxins in breastmilk was brought up after numerous articles about detectable amounts of DDT, PCB’s and other chemicals in breastmilk.

Personally, the articles about chemicals in breastmilk wouldn’t have kept me from breastfeeding. But they do alarm me because they highlight the vast presence of chemicals in our everyday lives, chemicals that we may not be aware of or identify as dangerous. If a nursing mother is passing toxins into her breastmilk, how was she exposed? Was she aware of her exposure? And what can nursing moms do to reduce or eliminate exposure to potentially dangerous chemicals?

In Your Home

cleaning agents–If you haven’t already made the switch to environmentally friendly household cleaners, now is a good time to think about it. White vinegar, baking soda and essential oils will clean just about anything, or if you’re not up to making your own cleaners, most large retailers carry safer alternatives. You should also wear gloves when cleaning to block absorption through your skin, and be sure to open windows for air circulation.
insecticide and rodenticide–Practically everyone I know battles at some point or another with ants, flies or the occasional mouse. While spraying with insecticide might work in the short term, in the long term, do you want those chemicals in your house? Experiment with natural methods of ant and fly control instead. With regard to mouse and rat poisons, as a vet tech who has seen way too many accidentally poisoned animals, I’m not a fan of rodenticide. Consider using traps in the house instead of poisons, and plug up any holes in your house to keep the rodents outside.
plastics–the dangers of bisphenol-A, a chemical found in certain plastics, are well documented. Most people now know to not heat styrofoam or other plastic containers and to use safe plastics for storage. Some countries have banned BPA altogether, and bans on BPA in children’s products are popping up across the US. However, the chemical is still present in the lining of canned beans and vegetables, and you still need to do your homework when it comes to kid and baby products.
on the stove–Teflon, the coating on cookware that keeps food from sticking to it, releases toxic fumes when heated to high temperatures. Stainless steel, cast iron, enamel and aluminum cookware are all safer options. Cooking with these alternatives can have a learning curve. If you find yourself burning your food, turn the temperature down and try again.

Personally, one of the most used products in my house is simple tea tree oil, which I purchased at my local Whole Foods. When diluted with water, it works fantastically to kill mold, deodorize stinky trashcans and deter ants. I’ve also dabbed it full strength on blemishes and used it to kill white mold on my marigolds.

In Your Office

air quality–Beware of air fresheners in the workplace. Remove it if you can, and use baking soda to absorb odors instead. And put a plant on your desk to improve air quality.
BPA free bottles for pumped milk–if you’re pumping milk, be sure your storage bottles are BPA free.

In The Kitchen

grow your own food–plant your own veggies, fruits and herbs when possible, then don’t put any chemicals on them. Depending on your climate, you could even try for a winter garden! Freeze or can any excess food so you can enjoy homegrown food all year long.
organic produce–If you can’t grow your own produce organically, try to purchase as much pesticide free produce as possible. If buying all organic isn’t in the budget, check out the 2010 Dirty Dozen list for the most contaminated fruits and veggies and either buy those organic or avoid them altogether.
eat whole foods-avoid or limit processed package foods that are usually too high in salt, calories or fat, and loaded with unhealthy and potentially dangerous chemicals like MSG and HFCS.

In Your Garden

natural gardening techniques–hand weeding is not only pesticide free, but great exercise! Try not to shake weeds as you pull them to keep seeds from scattering, and put them into the trash, not your compost pile. Mulch heavily to keep weeds down and to reduce dryness. Talk to a garden specialist about organic pre-emergents for lawns or other large areas where handweeding isn’t possible. Boiling water will kill weeds (and ants), as will white vinegar mixed with a squirt of biodegradable dish liquid. However, this mix also kills plants and grass, so spray with care. When it comes to pests on your veggies or soil-borne disease, there are lots of options (including beneficial predatory insects) for treating them without using chemicals. Talk to a specialist or do some research online before reaching for the poison.

Other Resources:

The Environmental Working Group’s website is loaded with information, including the Skin Deep cosmetic database and the 2010 best and worst sunscreen safety guide.
Organic Gardening Magazine’s website can help you identify pests and plant diseases, then help you fight it without chemicals.

Baby Top Ten List: What your baby is really trying to tell you

Sharron — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 13:00:56 +0000

Ah, if only all of our parenting moments could look like this. Perhaps it's best if we choose to remember these images of babyhood and not the less happy ones?

Falling in love with your baby is easy, taking care of a fussy baby… not so easy. All that crying really is your baby’s way of communicating. Now, what on earth is he or she trying to say? And why didn’t anyone warn you about this before you had children? Don’t be tempted to call it colic just yet. You can discover what is wrong.

As a first-time mom, I wrote these instructions for my husband so I could take a break. He was always able to figure out our babies’ cries by using this as a checklist. Once your baby is on a consistent routine, you will eliminate a lot of crying and fussiness by meeting needs before they become urgent. In the meantime – if you’re at your wits end – take a deep breath and try each of these until you find the right one.

Ten things your baby is trying to tell you:

Change my position. Or change your position; stand, bounce or sway. (While back sleeping may be considered safest, many babies are uncomfortable sleeping on their backs. Research other safe sleeping positions for fussy babies.)
Burp me. Try different positions, not just on your shoulder.
Feed me. If I’m really hungry, I may resist a bottle at first. And if I’m usually breastfed, I may not take kindly to a bottle. Be gentle but persistent. It also helps to use a wide-mouth bottle with a medium or fast flow. (Fussy babies are often fussy because we are unable to digest cow’s milk in any form; whether in mom’s diet passed through the breast milk or in dairy-based formula… please try eliminating cow’s milk.)
Talk to me and sing to me. Let me know you love me.
Help me sleep. If I won’t look you in the eye, I may be really tired. Take me to a dark, quiet room and rock me to sleep.
Hold me in the “pooping position.” When I’m semi-reclined in your lap, gently push my knees to my chest or rub my belly. Gas drops or Gripe Water may help relieve gas pains.
Check my diaper. Cloth diapers may need to be changed more often than disposables, but disposables are more likely to irritate the skin. If diaper rash is severe and not related to a food allergy; try switching to cloth.
See if I’m too hot or too cold. I probably don’t need a hat, jacket, booties and mittens inside the house.
Swaddle me. I feel more secure when I’m wrapped snug in a blanket.
Hold me. It’s what I love most, and I even produce growth hormones when held. Carry me in a sling or other carrier to make both of us happy.

You will know when you’ve been stricken with baby love. Your heart melts at the sight of one tiny grin and the weight of the world seems to lift at the sound of a contented baby sigh. Caring for a baby is exhausting, sometimes frustrating work, but baby love is fierce … and can inspire you to accomplish anything you can imagine. Keep up the great work, you really can do this, and all these challenging stages will pass long before you are ready to give them up.

Do you have a consistent routine yet? At the very least, get up at the same time every morning and go to bed at the same time every night. You can ease a fussy baby simply by giving them a consistent, loving environment. Crying generally boils down to three basic needs: FOOD, SLEEP and COMFORT. The top ten list addresses all these needs.

Mom Dare: Your challenge this week is to make sure you are meeting your own three basic needs. Are you eating healthy meals at regular intervals, sleeping whenever possible and depending upon someone close to you for moral, spiritual and physical support? Taking care of yourself is the best defense against the frustrations of parenting. So take three things off of your To-Do List and pencil in a nap, a healthy meal and time with someone you love instead.

Meeting Barbara Nicholson and Lysa Parker

jessica — Tue, 18 May 2010 11:00:19 +0000

A few weeks ago I received an exciting phone call from my co-leader Ivana Lombardo for our Northern Virginia chapter of Attachment Parenting International. Her news? Barbara Nicholson and Lysa Parker, founders of API and authors of the new book Attached at the Heart, were coming into town. Barbara and Lysa planned to promote their new book and meet with the U.S. Department of Health to discuss the attachment parenting lifestyle. Our group had been called on to host them while they were in town; I was psyched to meet API’s founders and was able to help out by making a strawberry and almond salad for an intimate dinner with them. Below are a few photos that I took during our dinner (with alotta help from my half pint assistants Diego and Annabelle).

API founder Barbara Nicholson, who is a mom of four and a wonderful lady. She is so excited that theU.S. Dept. of Health literature is promoting AP principles like breastfeeding, responding with sensitivity to our children, and much more. I have to say that I was a little surprised at her news but am super excited to see that our government is acknowledging that AP parenting works.

You’ll notice that in this photograph of Barbara, there is a bottle. I have to admit that I felt a bit strange meeting the founders of API while bottle feeding my son Levi. While I know that feeding with love and respect (which I am doing with a bottle) is an AP principle, I remember that once upon a time, this principle was called “breastfeeding.” I so badly wanted to breastfeed my son Levi and I did for the first month of his life. I shared my story of experiencing severe postpartum depression and how breastfeeding was something that I needed to let go of for sake of my mental health. I tell myself, whenever I am feeling bad about not breastfeeding Levi, that at least I am here, functioning and loving him.

Let me tell you: Barbara and Lysa didn’t judge me for how I am feeding my baby and I thank them for that. Moms need other moms to support them, especially when hard decisions are made.

Lysa Parker cozied up with all of our kids. Here she is with leader Krystal MacDonald’s son Diego. Both Lysa and Barbara were so warm to our children and to us mammas too. I felt like I had known them both for a long time.

Annabelle took this photograph of Lysa. Isn’t she a beautiful lady?

The infamous Diego, who is a budding violinist and (I think) photographer. His mamma is homeschooling him. He is just the sweetest, smartest kid ever.

I let the kids play with Nikon. Let’s just say that they had a great time having their own photo session:

Annabelle photographed Diego “taking a nap” while they played together upstairs in his room.

and I think she took this photo of Diego’s train mat.

This photograph belongs to either Diego or Annabelle. I loved that they immediately wanted to photograph the toys.

My co-leader Ivana Lombardo and her baby Philip. Ivana and I gave birth around the same time. Ivana is such a positive role model and support for our local group. I look to her for advice since her older son Alec is almost 2 years older than my daughter Annabelle. I have to say, having our AP support group has made such a difference in my life . . . in how I parent and how I love others too.

At dinner, we invited everyone who could come, including Diego’s tadpoles.

Krystal McDonald opened her home and her heart to all of us. She is an amazing mom, a La Leche League leader, an API leader, and a good friend too. I learned everything I know about cloth diapering from her,

and this beautiful window is nestled in on a stairwell in Krystal’s home. Just gorgeous, isn’t it? I think it really speaks to who Krystal and her family are: a connected and loving family.

Meeting Lysa and Barbara was an amazing opportunity to spend the evening with wise, loving women and our children too. I certainly felt honored and learned a lot just from listening to everyone talk about parenting, life, and making changes in the world. Definitely a night I won’t forget.

*******

Jessica Monte is a budding photographer and author of the blog Days of You and Me (once upon known as Green Mamma). To see what Jessica is up to these days, visit http://www.greenmamma.org

Spring Mini Series Installment #1 – Baby Training and the Breast

Jasmine Carlson — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 11:00:43 +0000

Baby training stems from the idea that babies need to become independent as quickly as possible. It is beneficial to everyone involved if a baby conforms to some sort of schedule. The primary thought being that babies need to fit in to the family instead of the family flexing around the new child.

The starting point for all this is generally eating, which is what this blog post will focus on.

It is a commonly held belief among baby trainers that children should be fed on a set schedule so that they are able to sleep better and do not suffer from digestive problems. That may sound all well and good but there are some difficulties that immediately arise from this train of thought. The first question may be how often do you feed your baby? Baby training would have a “flexible” set schedule. That immediately caught my attention. How do you have a flexible set schedule? Aren’t flexible and set opposites? Parents who are baby training are to set a strict schedule that allows for flexibility (go ponder that one for a while). This “flexible” set schedule is desired so that you can have your baby sleeping through the night and eating on your schedule as soon as possible.

The problem with this is that most mothers who attempt this kind of baby training may soon find that their milk supply is waning. Breast milk is produced in the quantity that is demanded by a child. By setting a strict feeding schedule, a baby is not able to suck freely. Therefore the breasts do not get the message that they need to produce more milk. The baby then becomes frustrated, which in turn leaves the mother feeling frustrated. The mother may then assume that there is something wrong with her supply and there is! But since the mother wants to do what is best for her child, she continues to schedule the feedings.

If a child does not seem full enough, baby trainers suggest that you may supplement with a little formula. Thus begins a downward spiral. A frustrated mom is left with a discontent child who desires to nurse freely. However, since this is not the “right” way to parent because it leads to a child being dependent and developing poor eating habits, the mother does not give in to what her natural instinct would be or give in to what her baby is demanding.

Demanding. That is the word that makes baby trainers shudder. A child knows no other way than to “demand” her parent’s assistance. The baby knows that her very life depends on her “demands” being met.

Feeding on demand is not just a source of food but is also a source of comfort for the baby. It is one of the first ways to affirm a baby’s trust in the parent. When the baby cries, the parent responds promptly with the food/closeness that the child is demanding. The child then begins to realize that her cries of desire will be met and fulfilled by her loving parent.

Baby trainers are adamant that a baby should never be comforted by the breast. For centuries, people have been comforted by breasts! Babies are comforted by a breast as it gives warmth, smells of their mother, and nourishes them. Children are comforted by the breast as they are folded in to the arms of their mother and bury their heads in her chest, breathing in her warmth and comfort. Men are comforted at the breast, and this is not meant in any type of perverted way, but men find their comfort at a woman’s breast as well and that is where the cycle begins again. Breasts are comfort. Breasts are food. Breasts nourish a generation. Let’s not train away their beauty.

Discussion?

Jasmine is a co-housing community living mama with a passion for fierce writing she blogs.

Photo: Guttorm Flatabø/Flickr

The Community Communion Table

Jasmine Carlson — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 13:00:33 +0000

Food is a big deal in my family and in our community. Meals, especially dinner, are when everyone gets together. They are loud and they last a long time. No one seems to be in a hurry to get them over with.

Dinner prep is usually fairly chaotic with everyone in and out of the kitchen and the kitchen overflows with smells. We cook spicy and ethnic food a lot so curry and chili are regular smells in our kitchen.

Dinner is a community communion of sorts. You can feel the joy of eating when our clan gets together. We make food that is nourishing, made of as many whole foods (and organic when we can afford it) as we are able and food that is full of flavor. Our policy is that everyone should leave the table full in every way, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

Since shortly after my son was born he sensed that dinnertime was special. That there was something special about sitting down together and that it made eating something more than just nourishing our bodies but that it is something that nourishes relationship, something that nourishes the soul.

By the time he was a few months old he demanded to “sit” at the table with everyone. Usually on my husband’s or my lap. He wanted to be a part of what was going on.

As my son started to eat food I watched him enjoy food. My son loves both curry and chili. Granted he is now a very normal toddler and I have to come up with creative ways to introduce healthy food in to his diet but I am satisfied knowing that the meals we put on the table are full of nourishing food but it’s more than just the food he is putting it to his belly. My son sits at the end of our large dinner table and he engages in the conversation and laughter that happens. I am happy to see my son be nourished in every way around the community communion table.

Jasmine is a co-housing community living mama with a passion for fierce writing, she blogs.

Photos used from: http://www.flickr.com/photos/forever5yearsold/2808759067/

Why Do You Breastfeed?

sarah — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 15:25:21 +0000

When I was pregnant with our first baby and I announced my intention to breastfeed, my husband had no opinion of his own about it, but supported me. “Whatever you want to do is fine!”

When that baby was born several months later, he had multiple problems nursing in the beginning, and was a trial to nurse throughout. However, my husband never wavered in his support and help, and avidly listened to every new wondrous thing I learned about breastfeeding.

“Did you know it helps his eyesight?”
“He has less chance of becoming obese because he breastfed!”
“I’m reducing my risk of getting breast cancer!”

He soon became an active supporter of breastfeeding, and offered advice to his friends becoming new dads.

So early in my second pregnancy, I decided to play a joke.

He was chopping vegetables in the kitchen when I came up to him.

“You know, I’ve been thinking. With all the problems I had breastfeeding our son, gosh, I just really don’t think I’m up to doing all that again. Seriously. It was just so hard and I just can’t do that again!”

I fully expected him to give me a weird look as he knows my devotion to breastfeeding, but still give me the line about how it’s my decision and he’ll support whatever I decide.

Instead, he put down the knife, turned and looked at my face-to-face and said, “No. I want you to breastfeed this baby! I don’t want one smart kid and one dumb kid!”

I immediately started cracking up: my attempt at a joke gone awry, my utter shock and glee at his response, and the simply the humor of his takeaway message about the difference in IQ point potential.

The second baby was indeed breastfeed for two-and-a-half years. I never considered not doing that.

In talking to new moms over the years, there seems to be multiple reasons why people choose to breastfeed:

Most moms I’ve talked to say their main reason was that it’s healthier for the baby.
Some are drawn to the financial; breastmilk is cheaper than formula.
Some women are drawn to the natural-ness of it. Nothing artificial.
Others love the convenience.
One woman I spoke to said she didn’t enjoy it at all, but kept doing it because she knew it was better for the baby.

A lot of moms don’t realize the hundreds of benefits of breastfeeding until they research it. I myself learned so much more from one La Leche League meeting than I ever learned from the three books I read before going to my first LLL meeting.

My opinion about that is that it doesn’t matter what your reason is for breastfeeding; if it convinces you to breastfeed, it’s a good reason!

Why do or did you breastfeed?

photo credit: Benklocek

Feed With Love and Respect Blog Carnival – 2010

Melissa — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 11:00:25 +0000

Welcome to the second of the 2010 Attachment Parenting International Blog Carnivals. Today’s carnival focuses on the 1st Principle of Parenting – Feed With Love and Respect.

Here is an excerpt from the 1st Principle:

Feeding a child involves more than providing nutrients; it is an act of love. Whether providing for the very intense hunger needs of a newborn, or serving meals at the family dinner table, parents can use feeding time as an opportunity to strengthen their bonds with their children.

Below is an excerpt from each contributor as well as a link to read the post in its entirety. If you didn’t get a chance to participate this month, join us next month as we celebrate API’s 3rd Principle of Parenting – Respond With Sensitivity. The submission deadline is April 9. Click to find out more about participating in on of API’s monthly parenting blog carnivals.

Without further ado, here’s how other attachment parenting families Feed With Love and Respect. Please note that these links will open in a new window.

Love – The Secret Ingredient For Healthy Self-Esteem

In my house, like the maternal figures who came before me, I mindfully love my children through the language of food.* Special occasions especially provide a wonderful opportunity for me to go all out. New baby on its way while I’m in labour? No problem, just pass me the flour and let’s make a welcoming cake! And what better way to show love to a new arrival but with the milk that flows from our breasts.

How to teach your children healthy eating habits in 10 simple steps

A lot of people struggle with teaching their kids how to eat healthy and stay away from salty, fatty and sweet snacks. Teaching them a healthy eating pattern shouldn’t be very difficult if you respect of the following set of simple rules.

Feeding and Eating With Love and Respect

For me, feeding Baby with love and respect has meant drastically changing my diet. It seems to be common knowledge in the breastfeeding community that a few foods, like broccoli and chocolate, can sometimes cause gassiness and fussiness in babies (Although many breastfeeding websites, including La Leche League, dispute even that, as seen here.) But as my baby and I learned the hard way, there are many, many foods that can bother the sensitive tummy of a baby.

The Power of the Breast

Those of us that choose to breastfeed to do for a variety of reasons… because we know it is healthiest for both ourselves and our babes, because it’s free and convenient. Most of us continue to breastfeed, though, because of the amazing bond that it creates.

Respect and Trust the Fussy Eater

Having a fussy eater in the family can be the cause of much anxiety and tension. Young children, by nature, tend to be picky about their food. It seems that they love to turn their noses up at the meals over which we labour all day to serve them.

I nurse my children…

I’m a low supply mom, and as such, I don’t make enough milk for my children. We knew this was a possibility before our first child was born, but that didn’t make it feel any less devastating to me when it was confirmed. I wanted to breastfeed my children.

When Toddlers’ need R.E.S.P.E.C.T

The time my midwife handed me my baby wrapped in towels for her very first introduction to her mommy’s milk, I thought “this is going to be a breeze!” The next morning, I was in tears. I was up all night with my ribs feeling like they were caving in and by morning, I was no longer fitting in the one blouse I had brought with me.

Overcoming Challenges to Build a Strong Breastfeeding Relationship

I had a lot of struggles breastfeeding Zoë. I talk a little bit about it here and here. Even with all of the struggles and frustration, we made it to 13 months because I took the time to work through the issues because it was important to me.

Breastfeeding Against Medical Advice

Last week I was told by my daughter’s pediatrician to stop breastfeeding. Brianna is already on the lean side and had lost a little weight. “You need to stop nursing her. You are keeping her from being hungry for other foods. It is best if you just stop cold turkey – that will be easiest,” she said.

Feeding Sadie with love and respect

Following the principle, Feeding with Love and Respect, has been pretty straightforward so far. I first typed “easy,” but then I remembered it took us 12 weeks (!) to get into the swing of breastfeeding, so I had to retract that statement.

Yummies for Aiden’s Tummy

From the moment I learned of my pregnancy with Aiden, I became super careful of what I put into my body. I drank so much water and when I did occasionally have a soda it was a Hansen’s and not a Pepsi. I added more fresh fruits and vegetables to my diet and cut out red meat completely

Attachment Parenting Carnival: Feed Me

During my pregnancy, like many other mothers I did as much research as I possibly could and wanted to be sure that my husband and I were making the best decisions not only for us but of course for the baby.

Feeding with respect: Stopping when they’re full

Let your children decide how much they want to eat. That’s my advice. As a caveat right off, it might not be applicable in certain instances. I can think of several medical conditions off the top of my head where following my advice might be dangerous, and I can think of situations where older children, not raised with such freedom, might abuse it.

How to Set Up a Food Tree

Food trees are a way of providing a person or family with food when they could most use some help, like when a new baby enters the family or someone has surgery, a death or any other kind of need.

Dinner Time

One of my favorite childhood memories is sitting at the dinner table with my family. We almost always ate together and often spent quite a while sitting at the table talking together after. I was in high school before I found out how rare family dinner time is in many homes.

Feeding My Family with Love and Respect

During this chapter of early parenting years, I personally feel a great sense of my own femininity when nurturing my children with their daily sustenance. I feel connected to all other mothers in the world through this practice — including animals — especially birds for some reason. Funny that one of my 20-something nicknames was “Monnie Bird.”

Feeding With Love (An API Blog Carnival Entry)

When your baby is born, one of the first things you do is hold her, comfort her, and then feed her.

Feed with Love and Respect at Any Age – Attachment Parenting Carnival

Dylan is just over 2 and is still breastfeeding. It’s not that often anymore – in the morning, before naptime on days I’m not at work, before bedtime and sometimes at night. OK…so maybe that seems like a lot – but it’s nothing compared to the every hour on the hour schedule we used to be on!