API’s response to the Milwaukee Anti-Bedsharing Campaign and the report aired today on NBC’s The Today Show and on ABC news:

Our hearts are broken at the loss of precious lives in Wisconsin. API is moved by and shares this passion to definitively halt similar ongoing sleep-related tragedies. We also agree and support information that would discourage bedsharing for those who are not healthy/safe candidates. Still, to say that no parent should ever have the baby in bed is as detrimental as saying that all babies should be in bed with their parents. While the Milwaukee anti-bedsharing campaign has generated a lot of controversy and interest, we persist in calling for facts that accurately describe the reality and continue to insist that when safe alternatives are dismissed, greater tragedy may result.

API is concerned that parents will be afraid to talk about bedsharing; professionals are and will be afraid to talk about it. Nonetheless, a mother’s basic need for feeding and responding to her infant’s needs will continue to be met. Parents and professionals must be fully informed with accessible information and free to ask questions and dialogue about safe strategies. We seek to avoid situations where efforts to comply with rules result in more unsafe situations.

Parents’ reasons for bedsharing are varied; in a popular poll more than 45% of American parents report that they have had their infant sleep with them at some point. A provocative ad and the gift of a playpen are solutions that are highly unlikely to affect parental decisions that deny strong biological, intellectual, and empathic responses to their infants. Those of us who raise our children in the culture of breastfeeding and safe bedsharing we cannot imagine this basic human instinct as taboo. It is a basic, human biological right for a baby and a healthy mother to be in close proximity.

As the campaign has already become news, we hope the momentum of this controversy will have the positive benefit of a meaningful discussion and response to much needed information, support, and resources.

What is urgently needed:

• Education about safe sleep environments;
• Better and clear data, analysis, and transparency in information;
• Communication and conversation for viable solutions based on good data as well as parent and infant behavior; and
• Broad participation, not action based on decisions of a few.

Safe Sleep Environment

Without a doubt, an unsafe sleep environment is not appropriate for an infant. API educational material guidelines clearly state that mothers who are bedsharing are advised to breastfeed, not smoke or take other drugs or alcohol (or sleep with a partner who does these things), or be obese. Creating a safe sleep environment includes firm mattresses, the space free of any potential entrapment. A firm futon or mattress on the floor, or a side-car sleeper are safe sleeping arrangements that breastfeeding mothers have used for centuries.

The current argument against educating about creating a safe sleep environment is that parents cannot learn; a paternalistic approach that ignores a variety of motivations for engaging in bedsharing. We believe in and support parents. We encourage a response to safe sleep that educates and empowers parents.

Looking at Data

In the 2010 City of Milwaukee Fetal Infant Mortality Review (FIMR) Report, bedsharing is identified as a risk factor in the same category as true causes of death by overlay and suffocation. If these bedsharing situations followed safe guidelines, should not the infant deaths be logically attributed to SIDS, just as they would if the infant were in a crib?

Page 17 shows that of 90 SIDS, overlay, asphyxiation deaths, 85 involved multiple risk factors. Bedsharing, indicated as a risk factor and being prevalent in 70% of the 90 deaths, was not the only identifiable risk factor. Five deaths for which there was only one risk factor are indicative of relatively “clear,” isolated causes of death. Even ifwe assume that bedsharing were the only risk factor in these five deaths, as this report does not identify accompanying risk factors such as obesity, other people in the bed, siblings in the bed, or bed structure, no one can be sure that these five deaths would have occurred in “safe” bedsharing conditions based on the API Safe Infant Sleep guidelines.

Assume we accepted that bedsharing was the single risk factor in the five deaths attributable to a single risk factor. Deaths attributed solely to bedsharing may then be reported at 0.05% – the lowest of all sleep-related risks. Technically, these deaths might be attributed to SIDS-bedsharing barring any additional and previously unidentified risk factors.

API agrees with an objective to strive for no infant or child deaths, certainly preventable ones. Zero tolerance is noble and we should aim for it, but when we break it all down, it must be analyzed on par with other sleep conditions and environments, knowing there is an uncontrolled element to SIDS that eludes all. When we look clear-eyed at the data, bedsharing may not be the boogeyman after all. In missing critical data and clear analysis, we are less able to achieve our common goals of keeping children alive, safe and thriving within their families.

More risk factors must be identified. Cause of death and risk factors need to be isolated for full information. Bedsharing does not equate to overlaying and it does not equate to SIDS.

Communicating with Parents

The frightening image used in the Milwaukee campaign against bedsharing perfectly illustrates a fear-based campaign, a campaign that does not help parents know what to do, just what not to do. (In this case what not to do may be interpreted widely). It is a simple and shocking picture and suitably controversial to grab attention. Dr. Kathleen Kendall-Tackett, who has conducted research on the harm of these kinds of anti-bedsharing campaigns, reports that they potentially create dangerous situations with a message that terrifies rather than educates parents. She found even though mothers hear the message to not bedshare, they misinterpret what they hear:

The findings indicate that almost 60% of mothers bedshare and that this occurs throughout the first year. These findings also indicate that 25% of mothers are falling asleep with their infants in dangerous sleep locations, such as chairs, sofas or recliners. Journal of Clinical Lactation Vol. 1, Fall 2010

Most of the mothers in Dr. Kendall-Tackett’s survey were breastfeeding mothers, and they found that at some point in the night, the mothers feel asleep with their babies. Along with current safe sleep strategies she strongly recommends:

Safe–sleep campaigns should include information on safe bedsharing. In absence of this information, parents are likely to continue bedsharing, but may do so in unsafe ways….

Consequences and Alternatives

The Milwaukee campaign uses a simplistic approach that ignores human nature and variation and sets parents up for overwhelming challenges in safely meeting their baby’s needs in the middle of the night. Parents feel forced to go against their instincts, turning to practices also known to harm infants. Confining their infant to the crib, letting their baby “cry it out,” and engaging in sleep training methods create stress in the baby. Even worse, parents become confused, irritated and so exhausted ultimately desensitizing the parent to the child’s need for loving responsiveness. The baby is deprived of emotional and physical support and at risk for harm. The history of parenting has shown that sometimes we move to a so-called strategy, only to find that we have created the potential for something worse, perhaps in this case, the potential for more SIDS deaths. We need to move forward with certain knowledge, being very careful before issuing blanket edicts with unknown outcomes that go against a natural, instinctual, and beneficial human behavior practiced for thousands of years.

API understands the great disparity in bedsharing among Milwaukee communities and yes, there are cases were families should not be bedsharing. In every case, however, parents can be educated and empowered in their love for their children, to make their own decisions. Milwaukee and other health departments can better spend their dollars to reduce infant deaths on good prenatal care, breastfeeding promotion, nutrition counseling and good parenting education instead of frightening messages that only confuse parents. Eliminating smoking, breastfeeding, roomsharing are all known practices that significantly decrease the chances of SIDS.

Sensible Response

The encouraging news is that so many of the comments coming from parents in blogs, Facebook, and on the ABC website show that they are seeing through this message and questioning its validity. We hope those involved with the campaign messaging will take this feedback to heart.

We encourage all parents to write to their local TV stations, newspapers, facebook pages, and other media to question these campaigns and advocate for safe, complete messages based on sound research. Come to this task full of compassion for the campaign directors, as they too have the infant’s best interests at heart. As compassionate parents ourselves, we have the tools to engage effectively. We continue patiently and persistently on our course of best action as we do in our daily parenting.

For its part, API is actively advocating for complete data collection on infant mortality rates, having a standard for death certificate questionnaires that ask the right questions, and delineate types of deaths, be they SIDS, suffocations, overlay, complications of prematurity, etc. The results should clearly indicate how this information compares to infant deaths that continue to take place in cribs.

Your continued support is vital to this effort. The factors involved in this bedsharing debate are greater than a well-intentioned public health effort. Strong financial interests, conflicts of interest, and lack of data transparency and clarity must not be a part of the processes that effect public health decisions, especially to the prospect of greater harm.

Only a grassroots, empowered public will make a difference in saving lives, empowering parents to take back their rights to raise their children in a loving, connected and healthy environment.

You are invited to review and use these valuable resources:

Jim McKenna, PhD: cosleeping.nd.edu
Dr. Bill Sears: askdrsears.com/news/latest-news/dr-sears-addresses-recent-co-sleeping-concerns
API 2010 Appeal for Support: attachmentparenting.org/news/2010appealforsupport.php
API Safe Sleep Resources, Free Downloadable Brochures, Position Paper, Letters, and Principle: attachmentparenting.org/infantsleepsafety/

API resources are available for your use and we invite you to share your concerns with:

Bevan Baker, Commissioner of Health
Milwaukee Health Department
Frank P. Zeidler Municipal Building
841 North Broadway, 3rd Floor
Milwaukee, WI 53202-3653
No email available

Milwaukee Journal Sentinel Letters to the Editor
200 word limit
Write: Letters to the editor, Milwaukee Journal Sentinel,
P.O. Box 371, Milwaukee, WI 53201-0371
Fax: (414)-223-5444
E-mail: jsedit@journalsentinel.com

JS Online response: http://www.jsonline.com/news/milwaukee/milwaukee-cosleeping-ad-stirs-nationwide-debate-4m33572-133987863.html

ABC: http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/lifestyle/2011/11/milwaukee-hopes-babies-and-butcher-knives-wake-parents-up-to-dangers-of-co-sleeping/

Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/16/co-sleeping-ad-baby-knife-dangers_n_1097170.html

Other major outlets

Your local newspaper

Petition: http://www.change.org/petitions/milwaukee-remove-the-fear-mongering-co-sleeping-ads

Consider donating to API’s efforts in support of parents at: Give today to help keep babies safe! or mail to: API, P.O. Box 4615, Alpharetta, GA 30023. Questions? 800-850-8320

Thank you.

Attachment Parenting International

Reflections on Motherhood

Poet and children’s author Barbara Benjamin is the mother of a 26-year-old daughter. She received a Bachelor of Science in Marketing from Auburn University in 1979. While her daughter was young, she happily chose to be a stay-at-home mother. When the school days arrived, she became a substitute teacher in the local school system where her daughter attended. Read more about her story, as well as poems illustrating her views, at http://theattachedfamily.com/membersonly/?p=2888 .

Creating a Village

The life of a parent can feel very isolated. Warm relationships with caring adults can sustain us when we’re struggling and help our children feel at ease when they’re away from home. So, how do we build the village we need to raise our children? API Leader Jenni Pertuset answers at http://theattachedfamily.com/membersonly/?p=2893 .

I’m writing to you today to share with you the news about some big changes on the horizon at API Speaks.  I am returning to school in January to complete my Master’s degree and will be stepping down as the Managing Editor of API’s blog.  The blog will still be live and the contributing editors will continue to approve posts and comments until a new Managing Editor can be found.  I’d like to thank you all for sharing your stories on the blog through your comments and I look forward to reading more in the coming weeks and months.

If you are interested in stepping in to the editorial role here at API Speaks, check out the API Speaks Managing Editor job description for more details.

Again, thank you for helping make API Speaks the blog that it is today.

Warmly,

Melissa

API is immensely grateful to Melissa for all she has done, not only as the editor of our blog, but also as an API Leader, supporter, coordinating team member, and technology coordinator for many years now. Melissa played major roles in API’s website and forum transitions, its Google Apps adoption, writing API policies, troubleshooting for API staff and families, and ongoing maintenance and updates. We appreciate her gifts and talents, and valuable AP parent wisdom, always shared with humility and grace. Please follow her work at the Mother Nature Network, and know she continues as an API Resource Leader in Arizona. Thank you for everything, Melissa. With much love and admiration,
Samantha, the API Staff, and API Board.

You’re invited to submit a post for the 2011 AP Month Carnival of Blogs. We’d like to hear from parents with all types of family configurations and different aged children about the many different ways you play with your children!

October is our 4th annual AP Month celebration and we’re looking for blog posts to help us celebrate our theme of “Families at Play: Nurturing Parent-Child Relationships through Play.”

To participate in the carnival:

1. Submit a post about play in your family.   Ideas might include (but are not limited to):

• your experiences (re) learning how to play!
• ways you’ve avoided boredom or discomfort around play
• ways that play has influenced the family dynamic
• things you remember about play from your own childhood (and how that might affect how you play with your child!)

2. Publish the post on the topic of play to your blog with the following text (including hyperlink):

This post is part of the Attachment Parenting Month blog carnival, hosted by Attachment Parenting International.

3. Once your post is completed, submit a link to your submission via the API Speaks Contact Form with a short message that the post is part of the AP Month 2011 blog carnival.

Submissions will be accepted until October 5!

Please note that in order to participate in the AP Month 2011 blog carnival; the post must be published and publicly viewable. If you do not have a blog, but would like to submit a guest post for AP Month, please use the API Speaks Contact Form to make arrangements.

For more information on AP Month 2011, visit the Attachment Parenting Month website.

Join the API Live July 25 Teleseminar Featuring “Playful Parenting: More Than Fun” with special guest Dr. Larry Cohen. Register now to attend live or receive the mp3 recording. Submit your questions in advance to apilive@attachmentparenting.org. Sponsored in part by the Million Minute Family Challenge.

Register now for this API Live! teleseminar event and hear hosts Lu Hanessian, author of the new playful book for parents and children: Picnic on a Cloud, and API co-founder Lysa Parker talk with Dr. Larry Cohen about:

• What is Playful Parenting and what does it have to do with attachment security?
• Will my children know how to take life, or take me, seriously if we’re playful?
• What does playful parenting have to do with confidence building and helping children resolve problems?
• What is the impact of parent playfulness on my child’s development and emotion?
• Can being playful make me a better parent?
• Can it make parenting more satisfying, more fun for me?
• I’m not so playful naturally. What do I do?
• When roughhousing, how do we help it end on a happy note?
• And Larry Cohen’s favorite playful parenting ideas you don’t want to miss!

Join us for the next API Live! Teleseminar scheduled for November 15, 2010 at 9pm EST/6pm PST: How Much is Enough? Attachment Parenting, Permissive Parenting and Overindulgence with special guest Jean Illsley Clarke.

Register now for this upcoming live teleseminar to hear hosts Lu Hanessian and API co-founder Barbara Nicholson talk with Jean Illsley Clarke as they talk about current information regarding parenting and tough traits like greed, helplessness, and self-centeredness, and discuss:

• Can I give my children too much?
• How do I recognize overindulgence?
• Toys, events, and activities: meeting the child’s needs or the parent’s needs?
• What effect does overindulgence have on effort, learning, and potential and my child’s life aspirations?
• Overindulgence and common parenting challenges like television/screen time and chores

This call will take place on Monday, November 15th at 9PM EST/ 6PM EST.

Please submit your questions to API Live (apilive AT attachmentparenting DOT org) and we will make every effort to address them during the call.

Click for more information about Jean Illsley Clarke and to register for the event.

Join us for the next API Live! Teleseminar scheduled for October 25, 2010 at 9pm ET/6pm PT: Full of Love: Giving our children a foundation for lifelong health through attachment parenting with Dr. Bill Sears and Dominique Hodgin M.Ed.c., NE.

Register for this call to hear hosts Lu Hanessian and API co-founder Lysa Parker speak with Dr. Bill Sears and Dominique Hodgin M.Ed.c., NE about keeping our children full of love. Send your questions to apilive AT attachmentparenting DOT org about giving our children a foundation for lifelong health through attachment parenting.

Topics for the call include:

• A Healthier Family – Keeping your children and family healthy can seem challenging, whether it is confusing nutrition information or time and budget constraints.
• Expecting and Nursing Moms – Beginning at conception, how an expecting mom eats and how she treats her body will have a profound impact on the development of her baby, both in the womb and after birth.
• Health Concerns – From ADHD to childhood obesity, many  parents are watching the effects poor nutrition and a lack of exercise is having on their children.
• Behavior – You may wonder why your child suddenly loses control, won’t listen or becomes disruptive in the classroom. It may surprise you to know that certain processed food and additives may be impacting your child behavior and even your own.
• Learning – As a parent you want your kid to do their best in school. But, with so many areas of a child’s health impacted by the food they eat they may not be as successful as they can be.
• Performance – You do what you can to help your children perform their best on the sports field or on stage. It can be surprising to find out that your best efforts to help them improve or practice regularly may be undermined with the foods and snacks your kids are eating at mealtime or for energy at halftime.

REGISTER NOW for the API Live! Full of Love teleseminar with Dr. Bill Sears.

Show us some love: ONLY 2 Days Left to Bid!!!

The Attachment Parenting International Auction closes on SUNDAY, October 17, 2010 at 11:59 PM EDT.

If you’ve got your heart set on a special item… you still have time to bid!

Check Out These Great Buys…
You can still bid on any of the special items in our auction right up to the final seconds of this exciting event. Every tick of the clock brings us closer to the finish line. This may be your last chance for that special item or to grab a great bargain. So don’t miss out… BID NOW!

Spread the Word!
Remind your friends the end is almost here! Just Refer your Friends so they have the chance to offer their support and get some great last-minute deals.

Don’t Forget: Every bid supports the work we do at Attachment Parenting International!

Join us for the next API Live! Teleseminar scheduled for September 27, 2010 at 9pm ET/6pm PT – “Homework, Bullies, and More: Challenges at Home and School” with special guest Judy Arnall.

Register for this call to hear hosts Lu Hanessian and API co-founder Lysa Parker talk with Judy Arnall about common school related issues including bullying, homework, time management and peer relationships.

Please submit your questions for Judy to API Live (apilive [AT] attachmentparenting [DOT] org) in advance and we will try to address them during the call.

You can support API’s misson and take advantage of the knowledge and experience of API Live’s special guests by signing up today. Every dollar of your sign up fee goes toward education, support and outreach for parents in need. And don’t wory about last minute conflicts–everyone who signs up will receive a link to download the MP3 the week after the event. After purchase, you will get an email with the conference call dial-in details.

About Judy
Judy is the co-founder of Attachment Parenting Canada.She is an award-winning speaker, parenting expert and author of the bestseller “Discipline Without Distress: 135 Tools for raising caring, responsible children without time-out, spanking, punishment or bribery.” She has published numerous articles on a variety of parenting related topics as well as being a regular contributor and guest in Canadian Media.

Her background includes a B.A. degree, and an Advanced Toastmaster Silver speaker award. She has been employed by Alberta Health Services, Perinatal Education, for the past eleven years and Families Matter Society for ten years. Judy has delivered hundreds of quality parent education sessions to thousands of parents in schools, libraries, corporate workplaces, and social agencies. She teaches Parent Effectiveness Training at The University of Calgary, Continuing Education and speaks for LifeSpeak Inc. as well as Womens Health Resources and Southern Alberta Child and Youth Health Network. An authorized facilitator of the P.E.T. (Parent Effectiveness Training) series, Judy has helped develop and present the Alberta wide “Terrific Toddlers” four-week course curriculum with Alberta Health Services’ Three Cheers for the Early Years Program.

REGISTER NOW!

Register now for the next API Live! Teleseminar scheduled for September 13, 2010 at 9pm ET/6pm PT – “Parenting Without Power Struggles” with Susan Stiffelman.

Register for this call to hear hosts Lu Hanessian and API cofounder Barbara Nicholson talk with Susan Stiffelman. You’ll discover how to:

• Transform frustration and aggression into adaptation and cooperation
• Keep your cool when your kids push your buttons, talk back or refuse to “play nice”
• Nourish deep attachment with young and older kids
• Help your ADD’ish child survive and thrive, even if you’re ADD’ish yourself
• Inoculate your kids from negative thinking and peer pressure that lead to anger, anxiety, depression, or behavior issues
• Help children manage the emotional challenges of divorce

Susan Stiffelman is a licensed Marriage, Family and Child Counselor, an Educational Therapist, Parent Educator and Professional Speaker. She holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in Developmental Psychology from Johnston College/ University of Redlands, a California K-9 Teaching Credential, a Masters of Arts degree from Antioch University in Clinical Psychology, and a California Marriage and Family Therapist licensesince 1991.

REGISTER NOW to learn more about this event, find out how to submit your own questions for Susan Stiffelman, and read her entire biography.