Signed…Better Late Than Never

by Sandy Gordon Frankfort on February 21, 2013

Share Button

Hello all,

I wanted to share this letter below that I received today. I am deeply touched that this person, identity unknown, took the time to express himself so openly and honestly. I hope we can all read it and take something from it, whether we are parents or not.

 

Dear Sandy,

I’m probably not your average reader. I’m a single man without kids.

I take responsibility for the path I have chosen to follow in life and the dreams that have never come to pass because I have never followed them to see where they would lead. Still, there is a part of me that wonders how much different my life would be today if I had a mother who had loved me, the way you love your boys.

I wasn’t yet in the first grade and I remember going to bed at night, looking forward to the hugs and kisses my mom would give me. I loved her so much and couldn’t tell her enough times or kiss her cheek often enough. Then a moment would come, before bed, when she would tell me that she’d had enough and it was time for bed. I would ask her to tell me just one more time that she loved me and she would refuse, telling me that it was getting to be a bit much.

I would begin by asking nicely and when she refused to tell me that she loved me, just one more time, I would begin to beg, “mom, please tell me that you love me, please.” “No”, she would say. “Now go to bed and quit being a baby.”

I remember the feeling of going to bed wondering if I had upset my mom and if she even still loved me at all. In the morning, I would wake up and look for a smile on my mother’s face or a hug to reassure me that she did in fact still love me.

It was this one event that continually reoccured. She quit tucking me in at night because of the fuss it would cause and this is what began the deterioration of my self confidence. From that point forward I remember that I would never hear her say, “I love you” often enough. Even when she did say it, I doubted whether she really meant it or was just saying it so that I would behave.

The feeling of insecurity that comes from believing you must earn your mother’s love, is damaging beyond belief to a child. When I made this observation last week, I began crying uncontrollably.

I just want to say, “Thank you for showing me what love looks like.” From this one observation I have been able to take back control of my emotions and I have a confidence in myself that I have never had before. Now, for the fist time in my life I truly feel comfortable in my own skin.

Signed,
Better late than never.

Thank you, Mr. single man without kids, for your kind words and for allowing yourself to be vulnerable. I respect you for looking at yourself, and your upbringing, and for being open to learning and growing. I am so happy you are comfortable within your own skin and I wish you so much love and happiness in this life. We all deserve to be loved and I do believe that the need for LOVE begins at birth and continues on always. I am so delighted that you get to move forward and live your life from a different perspective and with a newfound confidence. Much Love and Respect.

Please always tell the ones you LOVE that you LOVE them. Please do your best to show it by being patient, respectful, loving and kind. We all need to hear it and feel it. I choose Love always and I am sending my Love to all of you.

Share Button
Sandy Gordon Frankfort (12 Posts)

Sandy Gordon Frankfort is a proud Attachment Parent and loving Mother of two boys. Sandy founded her company Baby Love Wrap based on her firm beliefs in Attachment Parenting. She writes in order to connect and share with others on this amazing journey of Life. Please join Sandy and her family on their trip around the world at Four Love of the Globe and get involved in the discussions all things, Parenting, Life and Love. Stay connected on Facebook as well on Baby Love Wrap and Four Love of the Globe Much Love and Support to all of you doing the most important and rewarding job on Earth.


{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Mumdrah February 23, 2013 at 5:43 am

Wow. Not only is this thank you a great testament to you, but an eye opener to us all. Note to self – never to busy to say i love you. And to Mr single man without kids – thank you so much for sharing, i have learnt many lessons from you already. Mx

Reply

Sandy Frankfort February 27, 2013 at 2:08 pm

Thank you, Mumdrah. I am grateful for this share and my wish is for all to read and learn. We can never give too much Love. Thank you for taking the time to read and reply. :)

Ariadne, Thank you so much for sharing this and for your kind words. I agree, it is just heartbreaking. I am so happy he was brave enough to share so honestly and hopefully others on both sides will take something from this. I love your page and am now following. Thank you for what you do.

Reply

Ariadne - Positive Parenting Connection February 26, 2013 at 2:17 am

The letter is so heartbreaking but how powerful your words have been Sandy! Beautiful post – I shared this on our community page!

Reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: