Comments on: Brain, Child’s Pep Talk for Moms Returning to Work http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2010/01/19/brain-childs-pep-talk-for-moms-returning-to-work/ Thu, 17 May 2012 16:35:36 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.5 By: Marcela http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2010/01/19/brain-childs-pep-talk-for-moms-returning-to-work/comment-page-1/#comment-3845 Marcela Sat, 23 Jan 2010 15:23:14 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=2104#comment-3845 Hi Monica, Returning to work can be very hard at first. I remember those first days, feeling my milk let down and not having a baby to put to my breast but a big plastic pump. I felt guilty at first, and sad, but I quickly learned that going to work didn't mean I wasn't there for my family. Being an attached mama helps so much. The first thing I do when I get home is get in our big bed, with my 18 month old and 9 year old. I breastfeed my little one while my oldest tells me about what he did while I was away. We also read books during that time, and sometimes we can't wait to get in bed to see what is going to happen next! I take advantage of the time I have with them. I can't blog as much, or sometimes forget to return a phone call, and maybe serve leftovers way too much during the week ( : but I do get to love on my kids and my husband while I am at home, and really treasure those moments. We make and eat dinner together as a family, and we get in lots of family time there. Someone cutting veggies, someone getting the utensils together, someone serving drinks while wearing baby on their back ( : On my days off we like to take walks as a family. My husband and I also take time out to snuggle while watching our favorite show. Having a good relationship with your husband makes all the difference in raising a well balanced family. I think I might have gone on and on a bit too much. What I'm trying to say is that your family won't be sacrificed by you going to work if you all work as a team and dedicate time for each other. Good luck! You are a great mama! Hi Monica,
Returning to work can be very hard at first. I remember those first days, feeling my milk let down and not having a baby to put to my breast but a big plastic pump. I felt guilty at first, and sad, but I quickly learned that going to work didn’t mean I wasn’t there for my family.
Being an attached mama helps so much. The first thing I do when I get home is get in our big bed, with my 18 month old and 9 year old. I breastfeed my little one while my oldest tells me about what he did while I was away.
We also read books during that time, and sometimes we can’t wait to get in bed to see what is going to happen next!

I take advantage of the time I have with them.

I can’t blog as much, or sometimes forget to return a phone call, and maybe serve leftovers way too much during the week ( :

but I do get to love on my kids and my husband while I am at home, and really treasure those moments.

We make and eat dinner together as a family, and we get in lots of family time there. Someone cutting veggies, someone getting the utensils together, someone serving drinks while wearing baby on their back ( :

On my days off we like to take walks as a family. My husband and I also take time out to snuggle while watching our favorite show. Having a good relationship with your husband makes all the difference in raising a well balanced family.

I think I might have gone on and on a bit too much. What I’m trying to say is that your family won’t be sacrificed by you going to work if you all work as a team and dedicate time for each other.

Good luck! You are a great mama!

]]> By: Complaining is Normal http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2010/01/19/brain-childs-pep-talk-for-moms-returning-to-work/comment-page-1/#comment-3829 Complaining is Normal Fri, 22 Jan 2010 05:37:23 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=2104#comment-3829 [...] Brain, Child’s Pep Talk for Moms Returning to Work (attachmentparenting.org) [...] [...] Brain, Child’s Pep Talk for Moms Returning to Work (attachmentparenting.org) [...]

]]> By: G http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2010/01/19/brain-childs-pep-talk-for-moms-returning-to-work/comment-page-1/#comment-3828 G Fri, 22 Jan 2010 02:55:51 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=2104#comment-3828 I have an 8 mo old son and went back to work when he was 3 months old. The transition went much better than I had thought. We don't live near family and my husband works full time, so we had to put B in daycare. We opted for a home daycare with 5 other kids and it has been the biggest blessing. Rather than being in an institution with rules and schedules, our daycare provider is focused more on responding to each child's needs. She is a former breastfeeding and cloth diapering mom, so she has been very supportive of those choices. I know that B doesn't get held as much as he would at home, but it's the closest we can come to recreating AP outside of the home. It feels more like he has a surrogate mother and 4 part-time siblings. The key to our transition was identifying what our most important AP practices were and focusing on finding childcare that would mimic those. For us that meant focusing on a non-schedule emphasis environment that would focus more on being responsive to his cues. When he started, she let him nap when he was tired and fed him when he was hungry. Around 5-6 months, he settled into a predicable routine, but she didn't push it. Honestly, going back to work has made me a better AP. I think more about what is really important, but I also have time to feel personally fulfilled at work. I feel like my husband and I have another team member that is constantly trying to figure out what is best for our son. When we hit a rough patch with nursing or sleeping , etc we have another "parent" who is part of the conversation. We ultimately decide what is best, but I'm blessed that she thinks about how to use daycare to further our relationship (i.e. he's acting a little hungry, but I rocked him (20 minutes) until you got here so you didn't have to pump again"). I have an 8 mo old son and went back to work when he was 3 months old. The transition went much better than I had thought. We don’t live near family and my husband works full time, so we had to put B in daycare. We opted for a home daycare with 5 other kids and it has been the biggest blessing. Rather than being in an institution with rules and schedules, our daycare provider is focused more on responding to each child’s needs. She is a former breastfeeding and cloth diapering mom, so she has been very supportive of those choices. I know that B doesn’t get held as much as he would at home, but it’s the closest we can come to recreating AP outside of the home. It feels more like he has a surrogate mother and 4 part-time siblings.

The key to our transition was identifying what our most important AP practices were and focusing on finding childcare that would mimic those. For us that meant focusing on a non-schedule emphasis environment that would focus more on being responsive to his cues. When he started, she let him nap when he was tired and fed him when he was hungry. Around 5-6 months, he settled into a predicable routine, but she didn’t push it.

Honestly, going back to work has made me a better AP. I think more about what is really important, but I also have time to feel personally fulfilled at work. I feel like my husband and I have another team member that is constantly trying to figure out what is best for our son. When we hit a rough patch with nursing or sleeping , etc we have another “parent” who is part of the conversation. We ultimately decide what is best, but I’m blessed that she thinks about how to use daycare to further our relationship (i.e. he’s acting a little hungry, but I rocked him (20 minutes) until you got here so you didn’t have to pump again”).

]]> By: Monica http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2010/01/19/brain-childs-pep-talk-for-moms-returning-to-work/comment-page-1/#comment-3827 Monica Fri, 22 Jan 2010 02:33:10 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=2104#comment-3827 Stephanie - That's amazing that your job holds a place for you for 2 years. I can totally understand the pressure you may feel to hold on to that security. And I also know that life has a way of taking you in unexpected directions and in letting go of that particular job/company to extend your time home with your kids may result in a job down the road that you like even better. Who knows right? Nice that you don't *have* to work which gives you some breathing room. Good luck to you! Stephanie -
That’s amazing that your job holds a place for you for 2 years. I can totally understand the pressure you may feel to hold on to that security. And I also know that life has a way of taking you in unexpected directions and in letting go of that particular job/company to extend your time home with your kids may result in a job down the road that you like even better. Who knows right? Nice that you don’t *have* to work which gives you some breathing room. Good luck to you!

]]> By: Keri http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2010/01/19/brain-childs-pep-talk-for-moms-returning-to-work/comment-page-1/#comment-3822 Keri Thu, 21 Jan 2010 04:25:53 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=2104#comment-3822 I work as an adjunct lecturer at a university near my home. I do my own scheduling: 3 to 4 classes, 2 nights a week. This way I can be home with my kids during the day and my husband can be with them when I go to work. It works out really well for us. The irony is that some semesters I make more money than my husband does at his 9 to 5, 5 days a week job! I highly recommend seeking out this type of job if you want to stay home with your kids. =) I work as an adjunct lecturer at a university near my home. I do my own scheduling: 3 to 4 classes, 2 nights a week. This way I can be home with my kids during the day and my husband can be with them when I go to work. It works out really well for us. The irony is that some semesters I make more money than my husband does at his 9 to 5, 5 days a week job! I highly recommend seeking out this type of job if you want to stay home with your kids. =)

]]> By: Brooke http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2010/01/19/brain-childs-pep-talk-for-moms-returning-to-work/comment-page-1/#comment-3819 Brooke Wed, 20 Jan 2010 18:27:11 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=2104#comment-3819 I returned to the workforce this past October after staying home for six months with my first (only) baby. I quit my pre-baby job in order to seek part-time employment, but couldn't find anything (even as a licensed social worker) that could contribute enough to my family's income needs. I was ridiculously lucky to get hooked up with my dream job in a totally different field by a friend of mine. Currently I am a temp, but I expect to be hired on permanently in the near future. AP has most certainly helped with this transition back to work. We went from co-sleeping a little to mostly co-sleeping, which has helped maintain my milk supply, helped my baby get more mama-love, and helped us get a bit more sleep. We love the daycare she's in, and it's close to my office, so I can see her on my lunch break sometimes. My husband is off work on Tuesdays, so she gets a full day of daddy-only-time, and he brings her up to have lunch with me at my office. We co-nap on the weekends, and I respect her need to be carried around a lot (despite her speed-crawling abilities) whenever we are together. My concern, which I realize is a bit premature, is what will happen if/when we have another baby. The organization where I work is immensely competitive in terms of getting hired, and there's not anywhere else locally that I think I'd be happy enough working to counterbalance the fact that I'm away from my baby (another big reason I quit my former job). So I can't imagine being able to stay home more than the standard 12 weeks. I do think it will be easier the next time around, because I really felt like I was learning how to take care of a baby this first time, and I'll have the experience to lean on. But it will definitely be sad, I think, not to be able to give baby #2 the six months I was able to devote to my daughter. That said, good luck with your job hunt, and I hope you find a job that you like enough to make it bearable to be away from your children. I returned to the workforce this past October after staying home for six months with my first (only) baby. I quit my pre-baby job in order to seek part-time employment, but couldn’t find anything (even as a licensed social worker) that could contribute enough to my family’s income needs. I was ridiculously lucky to get hooked up with my dream job in a totally different field by a friend of mine. Currently I am a temp, but I expect to be hired on permanently in the near future.
AP has most certainly helped with this transition back to work. We went from co-sleeping a little to mostly co-sleeping, which has helped maintain my milk supply, helped my baby get more mama-love, and helped us get a bit more sleep. We love the daycare she’s in, and it’s close to my office, so I can see her on my lunch break sometimes. My husband is off work on Tuesdays, so she gets a full day of daddy-only-time, and he brings her up to have lunch with me at my office. We co-nap on the weekends, and I respect her need to be carried around a lot (despite her speed-crawling abilities) whenever we are together.
My concern, which I realize is a bit premature, is what will happen if/when we have another baby. The organization where I work is immensely competitive in terms of getting hired, and there’s not anywhere else locally that I think I’d be happy enough working to counterbalance the fact that I’m away from my baby (another big reason I quit my former job). So I can’t imagine being able to stay home more than the standard 12 weeks. I do think it will be easier the next time around, because I really felt like I was learning how to take care of a baby this first time, and I’ll have the experience to lean on. But it will definitely be sad, I think, not to be able to give baby #2 the six months I was able to devote to my daughter.
That said, good luck with your job hunt, and I hope you find a job that you like enough to make it bearable to be away from your children.

]]> By: Stephanie http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2010/01/19/brain-childs-pep-talk-for-moms-returning-to-work/comment-page-1/#comment-3813 Stephanie Wed, 20 Jan 2010 08:26:54 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=2104#comment-3813 What timing for this article. I have been home for almost 2 full years now. My job holds a place for me for the first 2 years, but after that I am no longer guaranteed a position and would have to jump through all the hoops to apply for one in the future. This week, I got The Letter requesting that I state my intent (whether to return to work or to permanently leave) and I just don't know what to do. I feel fortunate that I am not financially constrained to return to work (my spouse doesn't earn a gigantic salary, but we have been able to live within our means - plus the cost of daycare for 2 kids would all but obliterate my own salary). But losing that safety net of a ready job position is kind of frightening. I don't feel "done" being home yet - I feel like I'm only just starting to get my groove on - but there is that nagging, practical voice that says 2 years is plenty and maybe I should just take that safe bet of a job after all. I don't know what I'm going to write in that letter! What timing for this article. I have been home for almost 2 full years now. My job holds a place for me for the first 2 years, but after that I am no longer guaranteed a position and would have to jump through all the hoops to apply for one in the future. This week, I got The Letter requesting that I state my intent (whether to return to work or to permanently leave) and I just don’t know what to do. I feel fortunate that I am not financially constrained to return to work (my spouse doesn’t earn a gigantic salary, but we have been able to live within our means – plus the cost of daycare for 2 kids would all but obliterate my own salary). But losing that safety net of a ready job position is kind of frightening. I don’t feel “done” being home yet – I feel like I’m only just starting to get my groove on – but there is that nagging, practical voice that says 2 years is plenty and maybe I should just take that safe bet of a job after all. I don’t know what I’m going to write in that letter!

]]> By: Monica http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2010/01/19/brain-childs-pep-talk-for-moms-returning-to-work/comment-page-1/#comment-3811 Monica Wed, 20 Jan 2010 02:48:07 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=2104#comment-3811 Thank you Amber! I'm still marveling at your year-long maternity leave. So wonderful. It sounds like you've got a great arrangement and handled your transition back to work beautifully! Thank you Amber! I’m still marveling at your year-long maternity leave. So wonderful. It sounds like you’ve got a great arrangement and handled your transition back to work beautifully!

]]> By: Monica http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2010/01/19/brain-childs-pep-talk-for-moms-returning-to-work/comment-page-1/#comment-3810 Monica Wed, 20 Jan 2010 02:05:15 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=2104#comment-3810 I totally respect your desire to be home with your little angel and relate completely. It sounds like you have excellent job security and great support for maternity leave. When will the U.S. get with the picture there? I am also reading from Amber that women receive a year maternity leave in Canada?!! Fantastic! I totally respect your desire to be home with your little angel and relate completely. It sounds like you have excellent job security and great support for maternity leave. When will the U.S. get with the picture there? I am also reading from Amber that women receive a year maternity leave in Canada?!! Fantastic!

]]> By: Monica http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2010/01/19/brain-childs-pep-talk-for-moms-returning-to-work/comment-page-1/#comment-3809 Monica Wed, 20 Jan 2010 02:02:12 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=2104#comment-3809 Bernadette - pleasure to see you here. Thank you for reading my article. You're amazing and I love your perspective on AP not being purely physical. So true. And I think my cup will be filled in a way that will really serve my girls in the way we connect when we're together. I've got my resume in for a job that I'd really like and have two solid connections and recommendations. So I'm quite hopeful -- as you say, that's how good employment happens for sure. And if not this position, I will keep on keepin' on! :) Bernadette – pleasure to see you here. Thank you for reading my article. You’re amazing and I love your perspective on AP not being purely physical. So true. And I think my cup will be filled in a way that will really serve my girls in the way we connect when we’re together. I’ve got my resume in for a job that I’d really like and have two solid connections and recommendations. So I’m quite hopeful — as you say, that’s how good employment happens for sure. And if not this position, I will keep on keepin’ on! :)

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