My son has gained a mind of his own. Not that he has ever been much of a compliant child, but it seems that all of a sudden I have a full blown human being with his own opinions and ways of doing things.
The other morning I was trying to get ready to go grocery shopping and to have a much needed chiropractor visit. Of course, the days I plan on actually being productive seem to be the days that my son decides he needs a say in things. So we spent over half an hour repeatedly returning to the corner for a little refocus time (on his part) while I hurriedly attempted to shovel food in to my face; while he was eating breakfast I had been busy cleaning up and then getting him down and cleaning up after him… the list goes on. By the time we were finished with our little struggle I was close to being late and desperately needed the adjustment that I was headed in for.
After this little episode I realized that maybe it wasn’t just my back and neck that needed adjusted but also my perspective and maybe some of the ways I am doing things.
So here are some of the adjustments that I need to make:
I need to relax more, as in I need to realize that my son is growing and changing, exploring and challenging and I need to be able to adjust to this new adventure by relaxing in to it, making daily choices that make things easier on the both of us and maybe eliminating some of the things that “need” to be done so that we can both find more time to relax with each other.
I need to have more fun. Fun is a big deal. There always seem to be so many things that need to be done and then a pile more that should be done. I put “shoulds” on myself all of the time; this is one of the largest areas that needs to be adjusted in my life. I need to be free to play and have fun and maybe leave the chores until later, reminding myself that they will be there waiting when I get there. There is a beautiful poem that my mom had hanging up while we were growing up, it is a poem called “Song for a Fifth Child” by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton and the last stanza goes like this:
“The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.”
Just this past week I turned down a job that had great starting pay and would have led me to be a “professional” ; I am not one to do things halfway! I know that I was free to choose this job but I also knew that if I were to take it I would not only want to do a good part-time job but I would also want to work hard, do well, maybe get a promotion… I could see where this was leading. Less time with my child, less time as a family. That’s not what I wanted, that’s not what I want. It’s not what I wanted in the beginning and it isn’t what I want now even though for a moment I let my mind wander and fantasize about being a “professional” and having a “real” job.
I thought I was adjusted but now I find I am in need of another adjustment and I am beginning to realize that maybe this isn’t even a bad thing maybe at every new stage I will need an adjustment because this is my first time after all I can hardly be expected to be an expert!
Jasmine is a co-housing community living mama with a passion for fierce writing. She blogs!