Comments on: Three Year Old Weans Himself

By: Joanna Pelc

Joanna Pelc — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 10:15:37 +0000

Yes, my friend, who also tandem fed her kids lent it to me when I was pregnant with my second baby. After reading it I decided to give tandem feeding a go (not that I had much choice!). I do often come across information that suggests tandem feeding is not natural. Even that book starts out saying that it didn’t really occur in the past.

By: Penny in TX

Penny in TX — Sat, 17 Apr 2010 19:24:25 +0000

Your experience seems to have been a gradual weaning that respected your child’s needs while meeting your own needs. My only concern is that you label this weaning experience as child-led, when it seems clearly mother-led. For example, you describe night-weaning him when he was two, and later, you limited him further to before and after nap time and bedtime. That he followed your lead indicates that he was ready to accommodate the changes that you introduced, and it is clear that you both finished your nursing relationship on a positive and fulfilled note. Nonetheless, if it is possible to edit your post, you might wish to consider altering the title to better reflect the experience you describe.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 23:22:56 +0000

Thank you for sharing Emily… How beautiful.

By: Annie @ PhD in Parenting

Annie @ PhD in Parenting — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 14:04:49 +0000

My son self- weaned when he was 2.5 years old and I was 7.5 months pregnant. In a way, I was relieved, but there were also days when I wished I had nursing as a tool to deal with his toddler meltdowns that were exacerbated by the arrival of his sister.

My daughter will soon be 3 years. She is still nursing, generally only at bedtime, sometimes during the night, and in the morning after waking up. I’m not sure when she will wean and we’re just taking it day by day.

By: emily

emily — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 22:04:58 +0000

I loved reading this post. My older daughter weaned herself at 15 months. I was a little sad, but she was done and that was that. My little daughter, however, is still nursing at over 3 years old. When she was two, I started limiting “mimi” to a few times a day. The more I tried to limit it though, the more she demanded. 2 months after her 2nd birthday she was diagnosed with a rare kind of Leukemia and was hospitalized for 6 weeks. I realized she must have been demanding to nurse so often because she was getting sick and we didn’t know it. I stayed with her in the hospital, co-sleeping and nursing many times a day. During the worst of the chemo she couldn’t keep any solid food down, but she could keep in breastmilk. I was so grateful that we were still nursing. It was a huge comfort to both of us. Even her doctors who at first seemed uncomfortable with her extended breastfeeding later acknowledged that the breast milk has probably helped her immune system resist infections and has kept her strong. She is now 3 and 2 months and is in remission and doing well and I will keep nursing her until she no longer needs it. I trust her little body will know when she is done.

By: rachel

rachel — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 23:17:36 +0000

It sounds like you weaned your son very gently..by first night weaning, and then not nursing in public. It sounds like you are a very caring mom. I just have to say, though, that the title is a bit misleading. I expected to read about a child who completely weaned himself without mother intervention. I think its great you nursed your son until 3. I am still nursing my son at 4 and have been at the point for a few months where I am ready for our nursing relationship to end this year. I just think its important for us not to suggest that night weaning and refusing to nurse in public are part of “child led weaning”.

By: Stacy (Mama-Om)

Stacy (Mama-Om) — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 04:19:58 +0000

I’m breastfeeding my three-year-old… he nurses mainly when going down for a nap and at bedtime (but not during the night anymore). I didn’t do anything to nightwean him; he just started sleeping through on his own.

He doesn’t ask to nurse during the day very often… but sometimes I agree and sometimes I tell him we’ll do that bedtime. He’s my second child, and I honestly can’t remember doing any type of plan with him. The only limit I made was telling him, “We’ll nurse at naptime or bedtime,” but I don’t think I started doing that until recently.

My kids are 3 yrs and 3 mos apart, and I nursed my older son (who is now 6 1/2) until he was just over five years old. I think he stopped waking up to nurse in the middle of night when I was pregnant (he was almost three). He tandem-nursed with the baby, but after a few months, I told him we would nurse at bedtime. It worked for him, though he still nursed now and then during the day, etc. I would say that for the last year of nursing (between four and five) he didn’t really nurse that often, but it was available when he wanted it. I don’t remember when we stopped or when the last time was. It naturally faded away, and he could always “hold” a boobie if he really wanted to.

When my first was born, I thought I would nurse for at least two years… and then as time went on, I thought, “Okay, well, age seven would be my limit.” LOL! As it was, it felt pretty good for us at five. I’ll see how it goes with my second.

Thanks for sharing your story, and asking us to share ours!

By: Sharon

Sharon — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 22:51:54 +0000

This is very much how I wish nursing had gone for me. Between working full time and trying to pump as well as get some sleep my milk just didn’t last. My daughter quickly got used to the bottle and although he knew the ‘good fresh stuff’ came from mommy she had no issue with taking a bottle, mixed with formula or otherwise, from her day care provider or her dad. Slowly she started taking one from me (for my sanity I ended night nursing around 7 months and would offer warmed bottles of milk). Before I knew it she only wanted the bottle and I dried up. It was so bittersweet that I can’t describe it. But had everything gone better I would have nursed until she stopped and at least a year.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 18:38:27 +0000

My daughter weaned herself right around 11 months. I had always planned to nurse as long as she wanted to, which I guess I did, but I had always imagined it would be when she was two to three years old. I feel a little regret that it didn’t go longer, wonder if there was something I could have done to keep nursing. When I started working part time and needed to pump I noticed a definite decrease in my supply. Either the pump just wasn’t as effective as her nursing, or I couldn’t get into that mental space for the pump to do its job. It was a slow decrease in nursing from 9 months onwards, but it seemed like she stopped wanting to take out the time from playing to nurse.

Oh well, such is life. I plan to nurse any future kids to time that they determine, whether that be 11 months again, or 2 to 3 years.

By: Sonya

Sonya — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 07:08:30 +0000

Tat, I can’t remember which book I read it in (maybe How Weaning Happens), but I really appreciated learning about the concept of nursing manners. It’s okay to teach your child not to tweak your other nipple, put her finger in your belly-button (one of my son’s favorites), or pull up your shirt whenever she feels like it. In much the same way that we teach our children to hold hands crossing the street or not to hit other kids, we can guide them to nursing behaviors that don’t drive us crazy. In the long run, it makes having a longer and more pleasant nursing relationship possible for both mama and child. Good luck!