Comments on: Tough Love? No Way, Baby

By: Modeling AP Values | Attachment Parenting International Blog

Modeling AP Values | Attachment Parenting International Blog — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 11:04:17 +0000

[...] ago, such as full-term breastfeeding and breastfeeding in public, leaving our sons intact, responding to our children with love and respect, and realizing the detrimental effects of physical [...]

By: Dionna

Dionna — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 14:24:26 +0000

TJ – so true. Especially since they’ve done so many studies that reveal the long term benefits of cosleeping. Our country’s emphasis on independence is pushed too far sometimes.

By: TJ

TJ — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 16:36:48 +0000

I’m saddened at the sudden war on cosleeping. Instead of teaching parents how to cosleep safely, we create an atmosphere were babies are unhappy and parents are unhappy and nobody’s sleeping like they should.

My first still ends up in our bed quite a bit, but there’s no doubt she a confident, decisive child. Our second, however, does not like to sleep with anyone. In fact, she does prefer her own quiet room down the hall. I didn’t intend for it to go that way, but at three months, she decided what she liked and I followed her direction on her needs.

I wish we didn’t have the problem were everyone is trying to be squeezed through the same mold.

By: Dionna

Dionna — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 19:12:31 +0000

Allison – that is so sad that the person was spreading false information – there are actually studies I cited in this post about how cosleeping (in bed or in the same room) LOWERS the rate of SIDS.

Carl & Robin – thank you both!

Tatiana – I feel the same way about getting more sleep with my son in bed with us. Of course there have been nights with little sleep (teething, growth spurts, etc.), but those are to be expected. The fact that my son does not have to fully awaken to get his needs met means that we all get more sleep!

By: Tatiana

Tatiana — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 11:36:38 +0000

Argh … articles like that one in “Time” make me angry.
Co-sleeping works for us wonderfully. Seems like all the moms around neighbourhood talk about how they are tired with their babies waking to often and parents not getting enough sleep and too tired to enjoy their life. We solved this problem with co-sleeping, and even though my baby girl wakes a few times some nights I almost never feel sleep deprived as I don’t fully wake up to settle her back. I remember night time battles first 2 months of her life when she wasn’t co-sleeping, it took 5 hours on some nights to settle her and I couldn’t believe (!) how easy it was when I decided I had enough and put her to sleep next to me.(she was 8 weeks). It was the first night we all got a good night sleep. From that time I was never sleep deprived and had time for other things during the day rather than catching up on broken sleep.
I just love sleeping with her!

A friend of mine uses “crying out” on her baby from 3 months and she says she’s sitting next to her room listening how baby cries and just weeps together with her – she’d been told she needs to be tough (or baby never learns to fall asleep). How sad.

P.S.:
My mom was co-sleeping with me from 11 months till 4 years (I lived with my grandma between 2 and 11 months due to family circumstances). I was in a cot next to parents bed as their bed was too small. We often fall asleep holding hands. And I can assure you I’m very independent and I did learn to fall asleep by myself

By: Tatiana

Tatiana — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 11:31:16 +0000

Co-sleeping so works for us too. Seems like all the moms around neighbourhood talk about how they are tired with their babies waking to often and parents not getting enough sleep and too tired to enjoy their life. We solved this problem with co-sleeping, and even though my baby girl wakes a few times some nights I almost never feel sleep deprived as I don’t fully wake up to settle her back. I remember night time battles first 2 months of her life when she wasn’t co-sleeping, it took 5 hours on some nights to settle her and I couldn’t believe (!) how easy it was when I decided I had enough and put her to sleep next to me.(she was 8 weeks). It was the first night we all got a good night sleep. From that time I was never sleep deprived and had time for other things during the day rather than catching up on broken sleep.
I just love sleeping with her!

By: Dionna

Dionna — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 03:41:04 +0000

Zhara – how wonderful that your daughter’s secure attachment shows in all areas of her life! It’s also a good sign that her daycare provider encourages secure attachment as well.

Mollie – you are so right. With the development of new skills (imagination, independence, etc.), older toddlers, preschoolers, and young children still need to be gently parented at night.

Danielle – I couldn’t agree with you more!

Stephanie – I totally agree. Bed sharing is a relationship for everyone occupying the family bed, so each family member needs to have his or her needs met in order for the relationship to be healthy. If, for some reason, bringing baby to bed is not conducive to good sleep, then I absolutely advocate for having baby in your room in a sidecar or crib.

By: robin (woowoomama)

robin (woowoomama) — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 01:35:26 +0000

awesome post. well done!

By: Carl

Carl — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 23:21:25 +0000

Excellent article! I hope to see more like this in the future.

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 21:25:12 +0000

I’m a co-sleeper, too. I wanted to add, though, that if a baby is having trouble in the family bed (I’ve heard that some babies do – not all babies respond to sleeping situations in an identical way), then I’d rather see a parent have the baby at least in the same room, as the article seemed to suggest. (“Her advice: have children fall asleep 3 ft. away. “If they’re slightly separated, they sleep much better,” she says. (2)”) I think that is a better solution than banishing them to a crib down the hall. So I totally agree with you that co-sleeping in the family bed form is a wonderful and ideal way to sleep – I wanted to add that being 3 feet away is not necessarily being in another room…