Comments on: A Foundation of Trust http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2009/12/08/a-foundation-of-trust/ Thu, 17 May 2012 16:35:36 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.5 By: sunnymama http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2009/12/08/a-foundation-of-trust/comment-page-1/#comment-3586 sunnymama Mon, 21 Dec 2009 18:53:14 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=1835#comment-3586 Thanks for an interesting post. Thanks for an interesting post.

]]> By: Cool links | Root Children http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2009/12/08/a-foundation-of-trust/comment-page-1/#comment-3575 Cool links | Root Children Mon, 21 Dec 2009 03:16:14 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=1835#comment-3575 [...] this site– and they have been great!!  Supercook Second, here is a nice article about Santa.  When Drew was just a baby I read an article similar to this, about how the idea of Santa [...] [...] this site– and they have been great!!  Supercook Second, here is a nice article about Santa.  When Drew was just a baby I read an article similar to this, about how the idea of Santa [...]

]]> By: carolyn http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2009/12/08/a-foundation-of-trust/comment-page-1/#comment-3545 carolyn Wed, 16 Dec 2009 05:45:17 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=1835#comment-3545 The Santa Spirit I totally agree that lying about Santa being an actual human in a body can create a very sad ending to a well meaning story. Here's how we deal with it in our family: We told our son the story of St. Nicholas, and said that people were so moved by his spirit of generosity, that they continued the practice of anonymous gift giving in his memory. Because his memory has been so cherished, his spirit does live on, and continues to inspire people to give gifts. This inspired a wonderful conversation about spirits, lives without bodies, who certainly can "whisper" to us in the form of ideas and inspirations (see spirit in that word??) So, Santa does actually get around the globe as only a spirit can, and continues to give gifts to children via the adults who love them. All the reindeer, north pole, elf workshop stuff are just stories (albeit fun and entertaining) for folks who really can't understand the way spirits work. The Santa Spirit

I totally agree that lying about Santa being an actual human in a body can create a very sad ending to a well meaning story. Here’s how we deal with it in our family: We told our son the story of St. Nicholas, and said that people were so moved by his spirit of generosity, that they continued the practice of anonymous gift giving in his memory. Because his memory has been so cherished, his spirit does live on, and continues to inspire people to give gifts. This inspired a wonderful conversation about spirits, lives without bodies, who certainly can “whisper” to us in the form of ideas and inspirations (see spirit in that word??) So, Santa does actually get around the globe as only a spirit can, and continues to give gifts to children via the adults who love them. All the reindeer, north pole, elf workshop stuff are just stories (albeit fun and entertaining) for folks who really can’t understand the way spirits work.

]]> By: Attachment Parenting and the Holidays | Attachment Parenting International Blog http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2009/12/08/a-foundation-of-trust/comment-page-1/#comment-3540 Attachment Parenting and the Holidays | Attachment Parenting International Blog Tue, 15 Dec 2009 17:38:54 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=1835#comment-3540 [...] A Foundation of Trust – Santa or no Santa? Weigh in on this issue. [...] [...] A Foundation of Trust – Santa or no Santa? Weigh in on this issue. [...]

]]> By: Becky http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2009/12/08/a-foundation-of-trust/comment-page-1/#comment-3535 Becky Tue, 15 Dec 2009 02:26:47 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=1835#comment-3535 I was "surfing" & came across this topic... my Husband & I have decided to do the "Santa thing", BUT we focus on the true meaning of Christmas... Jesus' Birthday. We don't tink that having our children believe in Santa while they are young is a bad thing. We even have the "Elf on the shelf" in our home. During the CHirstmas season we forcus on the birth of Christ, but we also enjoy Santa too. My girls know that Santa only brings one gift for each of them at Christmas. the rest are from Mommy & Daddy. Before we do anything on Christmas we sing happy Birthday to Jesus & share a small birthday cupcake while reading the Christmas story. We know there is a time when they won't believe anymore & that is ok. Kids grow up so fast & we want them to enjoy every aspect of being a child & enjoying the imagination & excitement of the season. I was “surfing” & came across this topic… my Husband & I have decided to do the “Santa thing”, BUT we focus on the true meaning of Christmas… Jesus’ Birthday. We don’t tink that having our children believe in Santa while they are young is a bad thing. We even have the “Elf on the shelf” in our home. During the CHirstmas season we forcus on the birth of Christ, but we also enjoy Santa too. My girls know that Santa only brings one gift for each of them at Christmas. the rest are from Mommy & Daddy. Before we do anything on Christmas we sing happy Birthday to Jesus & share a small birthday cupcake while reading the Christmas story. We know there is a time when they won’t believe anymore & that is ok. Kids grow up so fast & we want them to enjoy every aspect of being a child & enjoying the imagination & excitement of the season.

]]> By: Angela http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2009/12/08/a-foundation-of-trust/comment-page-1/#comment-3522 Angela Thu, 10 Dec 2009 16:47:27 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=1835#comment-3522 I really enjoyed your post, it was something I've been thinking about too, I think you nailed it when you point out the nastiness of using Santa to enforce "good" behaviour. Telling children the tradition of St. Nick, as a symbol of generosity and sharing is a beautiful way to look at the tradition, and really, "believing" in Santa can be seen as much more than believing in a literal interpretation. It comes down to believing in the spirit of St. Nick and manifesting that by doing generous things. I really enjoyed your post, it was something I’ve been thinking about too, I think you nailed it when you point out the nastiness of using Santa to enforce “good” behaviour. Telling children the tradition of St. Nick, as a symbol of generosity and sharing is a beautiful way to look at the tradition, and really, “believing” in Santa can be seen as much more than believing in a literal interpretation. It comes down to believing in the spirit of St. Nick and manifesting that by doing generous things.

]]> By: Dionna http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2009/12/08/a-foundation-of-trust/comment-page-1/#comment-3519 Dionna Thu, 10 Dec 2009 02:40:39 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=1835#comment-3519 We must have been sharing half a brain, because I wrote on this same topic today. We are choosing not to perpetuate the Santa myth in our household for essentially the same reasons - I don't want to lie to our son, I want the holidays to be more about giving than receiving, and I don't like the idea of basing gifts on a child's behavior. Thanks for the post! We must have been sharing half a brain, because I wrote on this same topic today. We are choosing not to perpetuate the Santa myth in our household for essentially the same reasons – I don’t want to lie to our son, I want the holidays to be more about giving than receiving, and I don’t like the idea of basing gifts on a child’s behavior.
Thanks for the post!

]]> By: Tatiana Ernst http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2009/12/08/a-foundation-of-trust/comment-page-1/#comment-3516 Tatiana Ernst Wed, 09 Dec 2009 11:34:48 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=1835#comment-3516 Hm ... don't think making up a Santa story is actually lying. Just like any other fairy tale it is good for their imagination. I remember when I was little having fun guessing with other friends how would Santa actually come inside the house :). I learned the "truth" when I was a little older and that's fine. I agree on not using "naughty or nice" concept to manipulate kids behavior before Christmas though. Hm … don’t think making up a Santa story is actually lying. Just like any other fairy tale it is good for their imagination.
I remember when I was little having fun guessing with other friends how would Santa actually come inside the house :) . I learned the “truth” when I was a little older and that’s fine.
I agree on not using “naughty or nice” concept to manipulate kids behavior before Christmas though.

]]> By: Norina http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2009/12/08/a-foundation-of-trust/comment-page-1/#comment-3515 Norina Wed, 09 Dec 2009 06:11:06 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=1835#comment-3515 hello! Was just looking around searching for interesting things to read when I came upon your blog. I wanted to thank you for writing such a thought provoking post. My husband and I were just discussing this issue over the weekend. We have a 19 month old son and we too are trying our best to bring him up with trust, honesty, integrity, security...many of the things unfortuantely that we did not have in our youth. That said the issue of "santa" and whether we should tell him this "lie" is one we have been struggling with. I am going to have him read your post as well because I think it really sums up what is in both our hearts. I am now more sure then before, that "lying" to our son is not the best option here. Thanks again! Look forward to reading more from you!! Norina hello! Was just looking around searching for interesting things to read when I came upon your blog. I wanted to thank you for writing such a thought provoking post. My husband and I were just discussing this issue over the weekend. We have a 19 month old son and we too are trying our best to bring him up with trust, honesty, integrity, security…many of the things unfortuantely that we did not have in our youth. That said the issue of “santa” and whether we should tell him this “lie” is one we have been struggling with. I am going to have him read your post as well because I think it really sums up what is in both our hearts. I am now more sure then before, that “lying” to our son is not the best option here. Thanks again! Look forward to reading more from you!!
Norina

]]> By: Liz http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2009/12/08/a-foundation-of-trust/comment-page-1/#comment-3512 Liz Tue, 08 Dec 2009 21:31:07 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=1835#comment-3512 The story of Santa Claus is magical in the mind of a child. Instead of focusing on the "naughty or nice" elements, I choose to see the Santa "myth" as one of generosity and holiday tradition. It is possible to include Santa in your Christmas celebrations without endangering your child's trust in you. My own parents responded to our questions about Santa with a tongue-in-cheek: "Santa only brings gifts if you believe in him." My adult siblings and I still believe in Santa :). I can't ever really remember believing in Santa, nor do I remember a moment of realizing he wasn't real. Rather, traditions involving Santa (milk & cookies, stockings, etc) were part of the magic and fantasy of Christmas. I absolutely agree with avoiding threats or bribes related to Santa and being "good". The story of Santa Claus is magical in the mind of a child. Instead of focusing on the “naughty or nice” elements, I choose to see the Santa “myth” as one of generosity and holiday tradition. It is possible to include Santa in your Christmas celebrations without endangering your child’s trust in you. My own parents responded to our questions about Santa with a tongue-in-cheek: “Santa only brings gifts if you believe in him.” My adult siblings and I still believe in Santa :) . I can’t ever really remember believing in Santa, nor do I remember a moment of realizing he wasn’t real. Rather, traditions involving Santa (milk & cookies, stockings, etc) were part of the magic and fantasy of Christmas. I absolutely agree with avoiding threats or bribes related to Santa and being “good”.

]]>