Comments on: Bad Sleepers

By: Giselle

Giselle — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 06:09:23 +0000

Amaria….if it were me, I’d nurse him back to sleep if that is what soothes him. Do you have oversupply? I ask because you mentioned the spit up. I did with my second and third and found kellymom.com a great resource for my oversupply. Your local La Leche League group is also something you should connect with. LLL is amazingly supportive and informative. But, back to the sleep, I would nurse him at night. The grand majority of breastfed babies wake up throughout the night. If you cosleep, you can soothe him right at the moment he starts to fuss and before he is fully awake. Then it usually only takes a quick feeding to get him back to sleep and you too. During the day, you may want to consider babywearing and carrying him for naps. The movement of you going about your day (plus some background noise), as well as easy access to nursing can really help for babies that have a hard time settling down for naps.

By: amaria, mother of jack

amaria, mother of jack — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 20:15:43 +0000

my 4 mo. old son protests sleeping so much, sometimes even at night. i will nurse him to ‘sleep’ only to have him wake and spit up- do i then keep nursing him to get back to sleep? all other methods of soothing don’t work without histerical crying! what do i do?

By: madeleine a.

madeleine a. — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 23:06:02 +0000

I so agree, Jen. Acceptance is such a part of the attached life. It is more than attachment “parenting.” It is attachment “living.”

My lovely girl struggled so with sleep in the early months, but I have never regretted the long nights of nursing and often crying, many times both of us. Knowing I was there with her was worth all the pain and my spirit could never have accepted allowing her to cry. Allowing a child to cry without intervening to meet their needs immediately is soulless cruelty.

The price was high. I had to quit my job to manage the naps (our nanny could not do it, when I went back to work ever so briefly at 6 months). Financially it has been a burden. We may lose our house.

But even with the turmoil financially and professionally, when I look at how much closer all those long nights of nursing and cuddling have brought my lovely girl and I, I say it is all worth it. Every bit.

What is a house or savings compared to a spirit-strong and resilient little girl?

We are almost 2 years old now, we together, and I cherish our nights together. Where once she woke up constantly, she now sleeps deeply, waking for a snack or cuddle only once or twice in the night.

And we are close. Loving. Attached.

By: Jen, mom of DS

Jen, mom of DS — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 21:25:33 +0000

I totally agree!!!

We used to think my DS 13 mos old is a bad sleeper just because he only sleeps 10 hours at night and takes two 20 minute naps. We thought that because sometimes he does get alot more sleep like in the car and he so much happier when he gets much more sleep..

But thanks to ap we now know no book has all the answers (other than doc sears of course lol! jk but really). Just because he yawns and struggles on his ‘natural’ amount of sleep doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong. It’s just his temperament.

It is so helpful to just let go a bit and accept!!!

By: Jessica

Jessica — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 01:33:31 +0000

This post totally described how I felt just a few short months ago. The pressure that I felt from books/websites/friends/family to get my baby to be a “normal” sleeper almost drove me insane. It was only when I just accepted that my baby was an individual person with unique needs just like everyone else that I stopped worrying about his sleep habits and started to feel the real joy of being a mum. I regret every having listened to people who insisted that there was something wrong with my baby because he didn’t sleep through the night in his crib the way he was “supposed” to. I wish I had found AP before I had him; I am convinced that I never would have been sleep deprived!

By: Angela Graham

Angela Graham — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 17:53:43 +0000

You could be describing my baby! I always feel like an alien when I describe our sleeping arrangements, because of the reactions I get, you’d think I was talking about a sixteen year old needing to sleep next to me to get quality sleep, instead of my four month old! thanks for writing about it.

By: Cave Mother

Cave Mother — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 16:01:14 +0000

This post is correct, but when you feel very tired it can be hard to keep in mind the fact that your baby is normal. When I am exhausted I feel like I would do anything to get her to sleep better. But then the reality of this hits – if it would mean putting her in a cot and letting her cry it out, I would not be prepared to do it.

Sometimes, just letting go and accepting things is the only way to go. And never looking at the clock when your baby wakes up at night!

By: Tina

Tina — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 06:48:44 +0000

I really can relate to this blog post. When I changed my expectations regarding sleep with my children and learned to accept it without resisting it, I felt so much more rested. It wasn’t that I was getting so much more sleep, but that I wasn’t using my energy to resist my situation. Resistance exhausted me and acceptance freed me from wasting that energy.

By: Erin Whitney

Erin Whitney — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 04:18:34 +0000

Thank you, thank you! My 2 1/2 year old still has not slept through the night. I was beginning to think I was doing something wrong. He still needs me to fall back asleep in the middle of the night (Daddy can get him to sleep, but my little one seems to need me to stay asleep.) We are still all sleeping in the same bed, and I’m still breastfeeding, so of course I was blaming myself. “If I had weaned him already, he’d be a better sleeper..” etc, etc.
Thank you for this article! I am sure we’ll all sleep better tonight!

By: Desiree Fawn

Desiree Fawn — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 05:45:17 +0000

Oh my gosh I could HUG you right now! This is exactly what I’ve been needing to read. THANK YOU.