Comments on: Mothering Autism

By: Naomi

Naomi — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 03:24:22 +0000

It does not matter what style of parenting you have, I’am a routine style parent and My parenting has also been ridiculed. My son has autism and adhd combined type.

By: landry

landry — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 13:22:18 +0000

ABA is dog training; just another example of society molding us to who they want us to be.
I started using attachment parenting when my son was born by instinct. At 2.5 we found out he was high functioning autistic. I truly believe it is because of attachment parenting that his symptoms are so mild. I nursed him till the 2.5, practiced extended kangaroo care, we still co-sleep, NEVER used cry it out, tried to never belittle him for his actions, meet his needs as quickly as possible, and tell him every day how amazing he is and how wondrous his gifts are.

When I consider brain research I believe it is because of AP that my son is high functioning. The first way we learn as humans is through touch; this grows the brain and makes more connections that any other learning modality. I also know by meeting his demands quickly, not making him go into distress or cry it out has enabled his brain to develop much better than the typical ASD child. My son read, spells, identifies the states & some countries, adds, and many other amazing accomplishments at age 3.5. He does not throw tantrums and is able to love, kiss, hug, & say I love you to everyone he is close to (sitter, teacher, aunts, uncles, cousins, close friends). My son still struggles with socialization, communication and abstract thinking (all of his learning if from memory; he has a photographic memory), but I will take that! I know with all my heart that AP has helped my son function more fully in society.

*A word of caution: I did find out when my son was 2.5 that I was full of mercury & I was passing this onto him in my breast milk (I was raised on a SAD diet and suffered many side effects, poor oral hygiene & probably my son’s ASD being part of that. Our bodies have made huge improvements eating ONLY nourishing REAL food). I had no idea, I had never heard of this. I wish that this information would be made publicly available & hopefully parents intending to have children could detox prior to conceiving. Please pass along.
I do not regret my decision to nurse my son to 2.5. I would do it again. I know the touch helped his brain develop & gave him a milder temperament & hopefully nursing helped his immune system. I do believe that the mercury had a great roll in his ASD. I would have certainly taken all measures to detox prior to conceiving had I been aware of this phenomenon.

Best of luck to everyone. Continue to love and nourish your children mind, body, & soul. We are only here for a little while.

Forget mainstream thinking and stand out from the crowd!!

By: 2 Doulas On A Mission » Blog Archive » Special Needs

2 Doulas On A Mission » Blog Archive » Special Needs — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 17:51:22 +0000

[...] Mothering Autism [...]

By: naomi

naomi — Fri, 17 Dec 2010 11:31:40 +0000

wow I’m so glad that you attatchment parenting parents have your parenting style blamed for your childs autism!! because I also have a child with autism and don’t attatchment parent, I did ALL the things mentioned that you were told to do by therapists by instincts and I still get told by my family that my child has not got autism and that my parenting caused his behaviour problems even though he has been dx by proffessionals. I have had to dissasociate from my family because of the constant guilt and emotional stress that they put me through. it just proves that autism is not caused by your parenting style, i am a routine parent style. I did not co-sleep, and my child went to playgroup and daycare from 15months old to supposidly learn social skills, this was before he was even diagnosed!!!!

By: katie

katie — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 00:26:46 +0000

have you ever been to mothering.com’s special needs forum? there are tons of AP moms of autistic kids doing aba, rdi, floortime, etc. it’s been a LIFESAVER for me!!

By: Michele Fouts

Michele Fouts — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 23:22:34 +0000

I too am looking for a forum for AP and autism. It is so sad to hear these experiences but so typical as has been my experience as an autism consultant. I would highly recommend looking into RDI (Relationship Development Intervention) as I see AP philosophy complementing the RDI approach quite well. RDI is about parents lovingly guiding their children to enjoy and feel confident in relating to them and others in progressively more dynamic ways. Nothing is forced and the parent child relationship is the key vehicle for growth and development.

By: Lorelei

Lorelei — Sun, 04 Apr 2010 14:07:21 +0000

Gosh, I wish I’d found this sooner. I also have a 3 year old with autism, and he has a twin brother who doesn’t. I have struggled to do AP as much as I could since they were born, but with twins and having to work, it has not been easy. I also found that the moment the intervention people got involved, they wanted to do some pretty horrible things to my child, and that much of their advice was counterintuitive. It has been very lonely. I wish there was a place to connect to other AP parents with autistic children. Looking for one is how I found this website. If anyone knows of a forum or a group or something … please let me know. also, fyi, I also have been doing mostly floortime, myself, with some aba-ish type things … there’s something called sonrise that I recently discovered and seems similar and ap-ish maybe, but I don’t know much else about it. oh, also something else called, I think, dri or rdi, and it’s a lot like floortime too. for anyone else coming along and struggling to find the right approach. I DO think attachment parenting is really important, but also that some gentle help in hatching seems helpful too. I’ll try not to ramble too much here, but in the case of my child I am quite confident that part of the problem is difficulty in multi-tasking and processing multiple sensory inputs simultaneously (I recommend the mislabeled child to understand some of the technical stuff) … also, learning has to be fun and NOT TOO HARD. If something is just too hard, it’s no fun, and no one especially a young child will want to do it. That’s why my kid was behind on language …. he can’t do anything else and also listen and try to decipher and decode AT THE SAME TIME. he has delays in processing sound, so I had to slow down my speech and carefully enunciate. I also had to work harder to keep it fun for him to learn and play with language, and then his language development just took off amazingly. But you have to make special efforts to focus on it if you have a kid like mine, because otherwise it’s just too hard. I mean, I never could learn physics for the same reason. But if someone had tried hard enough to bust it down for me and keep it fun, and maybe even occasionally offer me a little mango sorbet as a little extra inducement {wink}, heck I might be a physics professor today. My 20 cents.

By: Robin Maria Malott

Robin Maria Malott — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 15:58:30 +0000

I also AP my HFA (3 year old) son. He had feeding issues – actually refused to eat anything other than breastmilk until he was 21 months! I was still night nursing at the time. You can imagine the criticism I got for that one! So I definitely feel for you.
Anyway, the reason for my post is that we do Floortime with my son and I find it works sooo much better with him (and the AP style). It approaches autism from the developmental aspect instead of behavioral – it’s simpler than the ABA and easy for you to implement at home. If you haven’t looked into it I would check out Dr. Greenspan’s book ‘Engaging Autism’. Between this and the AP’ing my son really engages with people.
Anyway – good luck with your journey!

By: Looking Back: API Speaks in 2009 | Attachment Parenting International Blog

Looking Back: API Speaks in 2009 | Attachment Parenting International Blog — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 11:06:13 +0000

[...] Mothering Autism When our oldest, Emily, was just shy of 3, we learned that she had Autism. It was such a stressful time in our little family’s life. Our baby, Alex was almost a year old and was crying all of the time for unknown reasons to us then and my husband’s job was rocky and unpredictable, therefore, so was our income. I just remember feeling like our world was falling apart. For days after the diagnosis, I mourned. I cried randomly, usually during one of Emily’s many meltdowns of the day. [...]

By: Sandra

Sandra — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 05:56:13 +0000

“If I thought my parenting style was under attack BEFORE the diagnosis, I found that it was nothing compared to after receiving the diagnosis.”
NO JOKE! My son’s diagnosis came just this year (he’s 8), we believe his sister is on the spectrum as well (she’s 5). Years of being told if you’d just stop or start…. and years of me crying THIS IS NOT BEING CAUSED BY PARENTING!!!! all came clear with one word… Autism. Quick, go to regional center I was told by the kind professional. So off I went, only to be judged again by my parenting and the diagnosis questioned. The same friends and family who’re quick to tell me how I was doing everything so different and raising two spoiled brats are the same ones now saying “IF they have autism, it certainly isn’t “mainstream autism”". Considering I’ve worked soooo dang hard through attachment parenting to establish and maintain what little bit of connection I could with these precious little ones whose brain’s weren’t naturally wired to establish and maintain connection back…
Not being “mainstream autism” is the BIGGEST compliment you could ever give me. ATTACHMENT PARENTING ROCKS and kids on the spectrum are all better for it!!