As far as preparing children for the real world, the real world is equal to the sum of its parts. What if husband becomes a drug addict? My husband would not be interested in attachment parenting if he were tempted to do drugs, it would be most unappealing. My husband has never done drugs in his life. On the other hand, as a teenager I smoked marijuana habitually for years, and who knows, I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that I was spanked on my bare bottom with a belt and grew up with asperger’s syndrome yet no one had any idea.

AP prepares them even better for the real world, because when a child’s needs are met by parents who are able to meet them, they are able to handle the changes in life later on. My son with autism slept in our bed for four years, and when I was 2 months pregnant we transitioned him into his own bed in one day by simply making his new bed just as comfortable as ours, and agreeing that if he wakes up crying, my husband would respond to him, given that soon I wouldn’t be able to be the one to do it. He handled all this with no problem at all, and that’s why I’m not afraid.

Even if something did change and I had to lessen the amount of baby b’s I could provide, attachment parenting is not all or nothing. I would still bed with my daughter, breast feed when I can and wear her when we are together, and I would demand the same of her caregivers. Yes she would have to experience frustration, but ap does not profess to ridding children of frustration. American babies cry regardless of how they are parented because of the culture we live in, the isolation, the whole one parent show with no helpers thing, that’s why our babies cry more than those of other cultures. None of us can provide the level of ap that babies in other cultures receive. My baby gets frustrated all the time, but I am not afraid of her emotions like PDF parents are, if she cries and I cannot meet her need immediately, I wear her and talk to her, I comfort her, but I continue to meet my own needs.

If AP spoils children, explain why my son is not spoiled? All of the babies who were not held, at one year of age, are extremely clingy, all the ones I have seen, but my son didn’t want us to hold him, except on the occasional check in for a hug, or reassurance when he had fallen or hurt himself. He didn’t want to be held all the time anymore like he did when he was a little baby because that need was already fulfilled.

AP does not cause autism because there are lots of pdf babies who have autism as well.

Yet I can’t come to terms with the idea that exclusive breastfeeding in and of itself can cause autism, not when that’s the way babies were intended to be fed. A much better option is to assume that the breastfeeding mother must hold herself to a high standard when it comes to diet and self care.

I also feel like some close ppl in my life have judged my decisions and blamed my parenting for my son’s behavior, saying the autism thing is just a label, and that he may be ‘indulged.’ I don’t think a four year old could pretend not to be able to speak for four years (with occasional speech here and there) because he is so spoiled rotten, especially when he never developed to the point of understanding what it means to tell a lie or play pretend. Furthermore when my son was not walking at 17 1/2 months, my cousin in-law’s wife told me I needed to give my son Pediasure because he needed certain vitamins and nutrients to be able to walk. Ironically he did start walking when I started giving him pediasure, but I think it was because he observed his peer cousins walking, not crawling around. Also, it could have just been time, he stood up without support a few weeks before, then started to walk.

Also, the pediasure and cow’s milk that they thought he so desperately needed should be blamed for the fact that my son completely regressed around 2 years, 6 months after he had left the breast, most likely due to having received too many other forms of milk.

The best I feel I can do with my daughter is an autism diet for myself, plus dietary supplements, probiotics, and a good naturopath. My hope is that I can prove this attachment parenting/autism theory wrong some day.

Also, as far as spanking goes, even mainstream autism gurus disagree with spanking autistic children, so that does not spoil them, and I know a family who spanks their autistic child, and he still continues to hit people and exhibit drastic misbehavior. My son did not develop a behavioral problem until I was about 4 or 5 months pregnant, before then he was well known for being autistic, without behavior problems, and he has never ever been spanked. I think that with autism you can’t reinforce negative behavior by being positive, with a child on the spectrum, I think in some cases it’s totally appropriate to show your child affection when he is exhibiting aggressive behavior.

Best of luck,

Avril