My daughter is 2.5 years old and showing signs of weaning. At times when she would normally nurse, she is now telling me that my “na nas are broken” and is starting to nurse less and less.
She is completely ready. I, however, am not.
She is my youngest, my baby. When my oldest daughter weaned at 22 months old, it didn’t bother me as much; probably because I was pregnant and knew that another baby was coming to take her place at the breast.
This time, there is no baby. There was going to be a baby boy born in about two weeks to take her place at the breast, but we sadly lost him in the second trimester. July 4th was my due date, and as that day looms closer and my youngest nurses less and less, I realize that for the first time in over five years I will have both an empty womb and empty breasts.
I don’t want to let go, I simply don’t. I want her to continue to be my baby, it is too hard for me. Then, last night, after my youngest told me that she didn’t want to nurse to sleep and I lay there with tears in my eyes, she suddenly turned towards me, threw her arms around my neck and said “I need you, Mommy” and asked me to stay with her until she fell asleep.
That’s when I realized that she still is my baby. So is my oldest. Weaning is not an end to them having needs that only their Mommy can fulfill; it’s just a step into the next stage of parenting, where I can meet her needs with lots of cuddles and hugs and attentiveness rather than comfort from the breast.
I need you, Mommy.
Maybe, just maybe, this won’t be as hard as I thought.
Shelly is a WAHM to two girls. You can find her daily at Adventures of a Breastfeeding Mother