So, as I became a woman, fell in love and married, we used only barriers. I didn’t know of any other ways. It was only AFTER my son was born that I realized there was a lost art (just like the lost art of breastfeeding) of fertility awareness. It clicked.

If I knew when I was fertile, and when I wasn’t by familiarizing myself with my timing and cervical mucous, I could decide (without waiting for hormones to work their way out of my system, without visiting the doctor to remove an IUD, without reversing a surgery) to become pregnant or to avoid becoming pregnant.

This knowledge should be taught in Sex Ed along with how to trust your body in Birth, basic breastfeeding (and it’s role in natural infertility), and many other topics. This is the knowledge that frees us from dependency on foreign objects and synthesized hormones . . . Which doesn’t mean that those tools are bad, but that we might find them less used if there was a greater awareness of fertility.

Justine, you bless us with your story. Thank you for talking about unexpected pregnancies, acceptance, and that “control” is really an illusion in many cases. I’m sending good thoughts to you and your family + LF#5

-Leslie

Congratulations on a new miracle, Justine!

“Lunaception can’t accurately be called a “system” or
method of “control.” There is more to it than that. It
is: a revolutionary frame of reference for looking at
your own body; a biologically gratifying way to
come into a personal balance with the universe; a
tool for health; and, last but not least, a possible
means to discretionary conception.”

When we use birth control because we are fearful of what our bodies are capable of then that is a restriction that society has placed on us by telling us that our bodies are scary and gross and that we should hide and ignore our natural cycles. For two and half decades I allowed myself to believe that my body’s amazing abilities were icky. Instead of paying attention to changes in vaginal discharge, or mood, or energy levels, and recognizing them as signs that my body was entering one stage of fertility or another, I was embarrassed by my body and my lack of “control” over it. Same with feeling ashamed and grossed out by my menstrual cycle. I am the AP mother to three girls who I do not want to EVER have those feelings about their own bodies. I have to make choices that model that for my girls.

Not everyone who uses birth control does it for the same reasons. I can only write about how I felt, the choices that I made, and include the quotes from sources which inspired me to change MY mind. If those same stories, and those same quotes, inspire you to believe more strongly in your choice, then I am glad to have provided that for you!

More recently I had a Mirena for several years and enjoyed the peace of mind it brought to me, and it did not eliminate the cues my body was sending me about my fertility. Now, however, I have reached a point in my life where that level of “enforcement” is not something I want to ask my body to contend with anymore.

Fertility Awareness Method (which IS a natural method of birth “control” discussed in Lunaception) FA method of birth “control” is NOT for women who cannot choose when to, or with whom to, have sex. It is not for women who do not have caring, loving, respectful partners who are willing to be 100% involved in daily choices about fertility. It is certainly NOT the method that would best serve women in less developed nations, abusive relationships, or who live in disempowering societies. It cannot work without a full understanding of women’s bodies. It cannot work if what you want is to “not think” about your fertility since it is a method which requires daily awareness of what the body is doing. As a society, I hope that we have reached a point where many (certainly not all) women finally DO have the status, education, income, and life expectancy to be fully aware of their cycles and to make choices that are best for them.

Every women has to decide if not becoming pregnant outweighs the risks of her commercial birth control method. Thank goodness we have that choice. Personally, the warnings on most hormonal bc methods are frightening to me. I no longer feel that the risks are worth it for me or my family. If having babies is the worst thing that can happen to me because I misread my body’s signals or chose to ignore them, then I consider myself to be incredibly blessed!