Comments on: Baby Led Sleep http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2009/04/02/baby-led-sleep/ Thu, 17 May 2012 16:35:36 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.5 By: Corri http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2009/04/02/baby-led-sleep/comment-page-1/#comment-7687 Corri Wed, 17 Aug 2011 19:47:44 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=767#comment-7687 Thank you so much! My little man is 9 months old and everyone is telling me how to handle his sleeping and waking up in the middle of the night. CIO is not my style and PUPD seems even more exhausting than just getting up every few hours for 10 minutes at a time. I have been accused of not letting my son self-sooth (?, he's a baby!!). I needed this. I needed to hear this from someone else. I am tired, but aren't all mother's? I can't get back the few minutes of cuddling every night when he's 15 and doesn't need me any more! Maybe that is selfish of me, but I feel better following his lead and not letting him feel like I have abandoned him. Thank you so much! My little man is 9 months old and everyone is telling me how to handle his sleeping and waking up in the middle of the night. CIO is not my style and PUPD seems even more exhausting than just getting up every few hours for 10 minutes at a time. I have been accused of not letting my son self-sooth (?, he’s a baby!!). I needed this. I needed to hear this from someone else. I am tired, but aren’t all mother’s? I can’t get back the few minutes of cuddling every night when he’s 15 and doesn’t need me any more! Maybe that is selfish of me, but I feel better following his lead and not letting him feel like I have abandoned him.

]]> By: Stacey http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2009/04/02/baby-led-sleep/comment-page-1/#comment-5433 Stacey Sat, 18 Sep 2010 19:03:27 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=767#comment-5433 I am so grateful that I found responses reg sleeping with your kids. My daughter just turned 2 and has slept with us since day one. I have nursed her to sleep always, even naps. I just had surgery this Thursday and I have no idea if that has anything to do with it, yet she will not sleep in the bed. She keeps sayin she wants to sleep in her bed.... What just happened? Did she just all of sudden not need us to sleep anymore? I think I am struggling with it more then she is. Any suggestions? I guess she has just become so independent all of sudden. I am supposed to be happy that she is, yet I am really sad.... Does that make sense? Well, thanks for lettting me write a little about it. I guess, she is just growing up and I need to just follow her cues. Still very sad.... I am so grateful that I found responses reg sleeping with your kids. My daughter just turned 2 and has slept with us since day one. I have nursed her to sleep always, even naps. I just had surgery this Thursday and I have no idea if that has anything to do with it, yet she will not sleep in the bed. She keeps sayin she wants to sleep in her bed…. What just happened? Did she just all of sudden not need us to sleep anymore? I think I am struggling with it more then she is. Any suggestions? I guess she has just become so independent all of sudden. I am supposed to be happy that she is, yet I am really sad…. Does that make sense? Well, thanks for lettting me write a little about it. I guess, she is just growing up and I need to just follow her cues. Still very sad….

]]> By: Ashley http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2009/04/02/baby-led-sleep/comment-page-1/#comment-5404 Ashley Tue, 14 Sep 2010 17:13:39 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=767#comment-5404 Oh dear... above on my response that was meant to say "15yo, drunk and in trouble" hahahahha NOT 5 yo!!! Oh dear… above on my response that was meant to say “15yo, drunk and in trouble” hahahahha NOT 5 yo!!!

]]> By: Ashley http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2009/04/02/baby-led-sleep/comment-page-1/#comment-5403 Ashley Tue, 14 Sep 2010 17:10:35 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=767#comment-5403 This is my life... thank you for helping to validate what so many of us do, and often question after a night of little sleep and kids ready to go go go at 6am! Our 5 yo DS, and 3yo and 2yo DD's take turns throughout the night, and we sometimes feel like it's 'time' to be a bit firmer but that feeling is always fleeting. Our 5yo now sleeps very well, after years of co-sleep and lits of nighttime parenting, and our 3yo is well on her way, only waking once a night, standing at my bedside for a quick nurse, and trots off back to bed. Our 2yo is right in the middle of sorting out what to do at nighttime, but we are always there if she chooses to come to our bedroom... often staying for the rest of the night. When we feel lik'it's time' we pick up our copy of "Nighttime parenting" By Dr Sears and remind ourselves that a full nights sleep will come once again... sometime.. lol. We love that our children have the confidence to ask for our help day or night, and can trust that no matter what the matter is (3am, 4yo, and a nightmare OR 3am, 5yo and drunk and in trouble) that they can come to us to help them if need be. We are setting up confident and trusting human beings, and are staying away from training them to be something they are not, or to feel something that they don't feel. So far, so good! This is my life… thank you for helping to validate what so many of us do, and often question after a night of little sleep and kids ready to go go go at 6am!

Our 5 yo DS, and 3yo and 2yo DD’s take turns throughout the night, and we sometimes feel like it’s ‘time’ to be a bit firmer but that feeling is always fleeting. Our 5yo now sleeps very well, after years of co-sleep and lits of nighttime parenting, and our 3yo is well on her way, only waking once a night, standing at my bedside for a quick nurse, and trots off back to bed. Our 2yo is right in the middle of sorting out what to do at nighttime, but we are always there if she chooses to come to our bedroom… often staying for the rest of the night.

When we feel lik’it’s time’ we pick up our copy of “Nighttime parenting” By Dr Sears and remind ourselves that a full nights sleep will come once again… sometime.. lol.

We love that our children have the confidence to ask for our help day or night, and can trust that no matter what the matter is (3am, 4yo, and a nightmare OR 3am, 5yo and drunk and in trouble) that they can come to us to help them if need be. We are setting up confident and trusting human beings, and are staying away from training them to be something they are not, or to feel something that they don’t feel.

So far, so good!

]]> By: Tashia http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2009/04/02/baby-led-sleep/comment-page-1/#comment-4684 Tashia Fri, 14 May 2010 05:52:35 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=767#comment-4684 Thank you for putting into words what my heart is telling me. I have a 7-month-old who has always been a difficult sleeper. From day 1, the only way she would fall asleep for most naps and bedtime was being bounced for at least 15-20 minutes (sometimes a lot longer) while in a sling or swaddled. At first I bounced her while standing and bending my knees, but that soon became very hard on me physically, so I soon discovered the bouncing ball (I use one specifically for babies instead of a yoga ball). That ball is a mixed blessing - while it has allowed me to get my daughter to sleep for many months, I sometimes curse it because it's the only way she'll fall sleep and it's very tiring for me. Lately I've been wondering how much longer I can do this, because my back aches, my thighs ache, my arms ache, and it's extremely hard to be so physical right when I'm at my most tired. As she gets bigger and heavier, it gets harder and harder. I originally planned to cosleep with her in a cosleeper bed or in my bed, but after a few weeks discovered that since we are both very light sleepers, we both sleep much better in separate rooms as well as separate beds, so in our case cosleeping didn't work. Also for various reasons, I had to give up breastfeeding at 3 weeks, even though I was 100% committed to it at the beginning, so she's been on formula exclusively since. Supposedly formula-fed babies are able to sleep longer stretches, but not this one! Most of her naps (2 or 3 a day) are 30-40 minutes long, and at bedtime she always wakes up half an hour after being put down and I have to bounce her back to sleep again. Some nights she'll sleep 3-4 hours before waking up again (at which point I have to give her a bottle before she'll go back to sleep), other nights she'll wake up 2 or 3 times in between. Usually she sleeps more soundly after the middle of the night feeding and I get my best sleep between about 2 or 3 AM and 7 AM. If it's the middle of the night feeding she'll usually fall asleep in my arms as soon as she's done eating, but any other time I have to bounce her back to sleep. She rarely sleeps more than 9 1/2 hours at night total, no matter what time I put her to bed. Because this is really wearing on my physically, I've been thinking a lot about what if anything I can do to change it so that we both get better, more uninterrupted sleep. The other night out of pure exhaustion and desperation, I decided to see what would happen if I let her cry it out, the Ferber way, checking on her every 10 minutes but not picking her up. I am against CIO emotionally, but at a physical level had to give it a try. Of course it didn't work - after 45 minutes she was crying as hard as after 5; the second I picked her up at the 45-minute mark, she stopped crying, and she fell asleep after another 15 minutes of bouncing. I know the CIO experts would say that a one-night trial is not proof that it doesn't work for her, but I don't have the heart to do it again. After reading what you said about your kids, I feel better knowing that it's not anything I'm doing wrong, it's just how she is, and that I'm on the right track by just continuing to do what I've always done, and some day maybe we'll turn a corner. It's very hard to do it every day and every night, and there are so many times I just want to quit and stop bouncing her and just roll over and go back to sleep myself, but I know she will just cry until I pick her up and bounce her back to sleep, and I can't bear letting her cry when she just needs to be held and bounced and loved. Thank you for putting into words what my heart is telling me. I have a 7-month-old who has always been a difficult sleeper. From day 1, the only way she would fall asleep for most naps and bedtime was being bounced for at least 15-20 minutes (sometimes a lot longer) while in a sling or swaddled. At first I bounced her while standing and bending my knees, but that soon became very hard on me physically, so I soon discovered the bouncing ball (I use one specifically for babies instead of a yoga ball). That ball is a mixed blessing – while it has allowed me to get my daughter to sleep for many months, I sometimes curse it because it’s the only way she’ll fall sleep and it’s very tiring for me. Lately I’ve been wondering how much longer I can do this, because my back aches, my thighs ache, my arms ache, and it’s extremely hard to be so physical right when I’m at my most tired. As she gets bigger and heavier, it gets harder and harder.

I originally planned to cosleep with her in a cosleeper bed or in my bed, but after a few weeks discovered that since we are both very light sleepers, we both sleep much better in separate rooms as well as separate beds, so in our case cosleeping didn’t work. Also for various reasons, I had to give up breastfeeding at 3 weeks, even though I was 100% committed to it at the beginning, so she’s been on formula exclusively since. Supposedly formula-fed babies are able to sleep longer stretches, but not this one!

Most of her naps (2 or 3 a day) are 30-40 minutes long, and at bedtime she always wakes up half an hour after being put down and I have to bounce her back to sleep again. Some nights she’ll sleep 3-4 hours before waking up again (at which point I have to give her a bottle before she’ll go back to sleep), other nights she’ll wake up 2 or 3 times in between. Usually she sleeps more soundly after the middle of the night feeding and I get my best sleep between about 2 or 3 AM and 7 AM. If it’s the middle of the night feeding she’ll usually fall asleep in my arms as soon as she’s done eating, but any other time I have to bounce her back to sleep. She rarely sleeps more than 9 1/2 hours at night total, no matter what time I put her to bed.

Because this is really wearing on my physically, I’ve been thinking a lot about what if anything I can do to change it so that we both get better, more uninterrupted sleep. The other night out of pure exhaustion and desperation, I decided to see what would happen if I let her cry it out, the Ferber way, checking on her every 10 minutes but not picking her up. I am against CIO emotionally, but at a physical level had to give it a try. Of course it didn’t work – after 45 minutes she was crying as hard as after 5; the second I picked her up at the 45-minute mark, she stopped crying, and she fell asleep after another 15 minutes of bouncing. I know the CIO experts would say that a one-night trial is not proof that it doesn’t work for her, but I don’t have the heart to do it again.

After reading what you said about your kids, I feel better knowing that it’s not anything I’m doing wrong, it’s just how she is, and that I’m on the right track by just continuing to do what I’ve always done, and some day maybe we’ll turn a corner. It’s very hard to do it every day and every night, and there are so many times I just want to quit and stop bouncing her and just roll over and go back to sleep myself, but I know she will just cry until I pick her up and bounce her back to sleep, and I can’t bear letting her cry when she just needs to be held and bounced and loved.

]]> By: Jillian http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2009/04/02/baby-led-sleep/comment-page-1/#comment-4054 Jillian Fri, 12 Feb 2010 02:38:07 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=767#comment-4054 I am surrounded my moms who enforce cry it out on their babies and love to tell me how their little ones sleep 12 hours straight and put themselves to sleep. Does this sound fantastic? Of course! However, I decided very early on in my 8 month old boy's life that attachment parenting is my style. Sometimes (rarely) my little guy sleeps 10 hours straight on his own but most nights we are up several times. His night wakings have become long and difficult recently but I still refuse to let him cry it out. He needs me and he needs love and I will NOT let him lay in his bed crying, wondering why in the world his mommy won't come to his rescue. In fact, he doesn't cry in the night - he just has trouble falling back asleep. My inlaws are not understanding, my husband sleeps in his own room so that he is able to get enough sleep to function at work the next day, and my friends continually brag about their sleeping babies. I am EVER SO RELIEVED to stumble upon this page of comments of other attachment mommies who understand one another. Tears of relief fill my eyes right now as I absorb the feeling of affirmation that what I am doing is right for my son. He is an exceptionally happy and vibrant little guy so I know that my parenting is right for him. Thank you, beautiful mommies here on this page, for giving me the confidence to continue mothering my baby boy in the most loving way. I am surrounded my moms who enforce cry it out on their babies and love to tell me how their little ones sleep 12 hours straight and put themselves to sleep. Does this sound fantastic? Of course! However, I decided very early on in my 8 month old boy’s life that attachment parenting is my style. Sometimes (rarely) my little guy sleeps 10 hours straight on his own but most nights we are up several times. His night wakings have become long and difficult recently but I still refuse to let him cry it out. He needs me and he needs love and I will NOT let him lay in his bed crying, wondering why in the world his mommy won’t come to his rescue. In fact, he doesn’t cry in the night – he just has trouble falling back asleep. My inlaws are not understanding, my husband sleeps in his own room so that he is able to get enough sleep to function at work the next day, and my friends continually brag about their sleeping babies.

I am EVER SO RELIEVED to stumble upon this page of comments of other attachment mommies who understand one another. Tears of relief fill my eyes right now as I absorb the feeling of affirmation that what I am doing is right for my son. He is an exceptionally happy and vibrant little guy so I know that my parenting is right for him. Thank you, beautiful mommies here on this page, for giving me the confidence to continue mothering my baby boy in the most loving way.

]]> By: ladylaura http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2009/04/02/baby-led-sleep/comment-page-1/#comment-4023 ladylaura Mon, 08 Feb 2010 20:09:20 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=767#comment-4023 beautifully written i agree whole heartedly xxx beautifully written

i agree whole heartedly
xxx

]]> By: Erika http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2009/04/02/baby-led-sleep/comment-page-1/#comment-3855 Erika Mon, 25 Jan 2010 22:03:17 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=767#comment-3855 Reading your words brought me tears of validation and joy to know that I am not so alone in this decision I have made to follow my child's lead when it comes to sleep. What a relief it was to read your article, thank you! Reading your words brought me tears of validation and joy to know that I am not so alone in this decision I have made to follow my child’s lead when it comes to sleep. What a relief it was to read your article, thank you!

]]> By: lovemybabby http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2009/04/02/baby-led-sleep/comment-page-1/#comment-3518 lovemybabby Wed, 09 Dec 2009 19:48:44 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=767#comment-3518 I've just found this blog after searching the internet for other mums who feed their baby to sleep. my boy is almost 10 months and we feed him to sleep every night at bedtime, and then again when we go to bed, and once in the night. We also tried rocking him to sleep or giving him water, but he was really distressed. feeding seems such a natural loving thing to do, and it's right there, ready made comfort! It's so good to know there are other parents out there doing the same thing. I’ve just found this blog after searching the internet for other mums who feed their baby to sleep. my boy is almost 10 months and we feed him to sleep every night at bedtime, and then again when we go to bed, and once in the night. We also tried rocking him to sleep or giving him water, but he was really distressed. feeding seems such a natural loving thing to do, and it’s right there, ready made comfort! It’s so good to know there are other parents out there doing the same thing.

]]> By: Double E Mama http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2009/04/02/baby-led-sleep/comment-page-1/#comment-3468 Double E Mama Thu, 03 Dec 2009 18:35:27 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=767#comment-3468 This could have been written by me, about my own two children, the story is so similar to my own. And I have come to the same conclusion, that baby-led sleep is the way to go. It just feels right. Thank you for writing this. This could have been written by me, about my own two children, the story is so similar to my own. And I have come to the same conclusion, that baby-led sleep is the way to go. It just feels right. Thank you for writing this.

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