I can’t count the number of times that someone has told me that I need to get out of the house without my son. I’ve been told to get a regular babysitter or to put him in daycare, so that I can have time for myself. While I agree that moms do need time to themselves (I like to de-stress in a long bath with a book by my side once a week and go to dinner and a movie with friends occasionally), I am happy to share my life with my 15 month old son.
What does giving him my presence mean to me? It means allowing him to be present in my everyday life. Sure, we are extended breastfeeding, co-sleeping, we’re in playgroups (a German speaking one and an English speaking one), and I’m a stay at home mom, but I also take him with me when I go to town, to the store, even to the doctor’s office, when possible. He joins me when I get a massage, sitting below the table, playing with blocks, smiling up at me every few minutes. We eat at restaurants together. He doesn’t have a high chair with a tray, he sits right at the table with us, taking part in the family meal, and luckily, most restaurants where we live in Germany also have these kinds of chairs. I’m thankful that most places here are kid-friendly. He loves to flirt with the waitresses and he even tries to pay the bill.
By including my son in my everyday life, I feel I’m teaching him how to interact. He doesn’t act out like some children I’ve seen out, especially at restaurants. He sits and watches the faces of everyone around him. He laughs when we laugh and tries to eat like we eat. He happily eats sushi, caviar, all sorts of vegetables, octopus, muscles, all without even needing a bib. My friends invite us over to dinner so that their children will try new foods. They’ll say, “Look, the little guy likes it, why don’t you give it a try?” (I guess he’s like Mikey, the Life cereal kid who would eat anything!)
Now I know that some of this is just his easy-going personality and that we might have to peel spaghetti off the ceiling with our next child, but I think part of it is due to the willingness of myself and my husband to share practically our whole lives with him. We love his company and I think that this will help him to grow up loving our company as well.
You can find more from Christina Geyer at:
- An American Expat in Deutschland
- Mamas Worldwide
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Exactly Christina. By modeling the behavior, he learns it. He doesn’t need to act out for your attention, so he doesn’t. It’s great, isn’t it?
This sounds like a great way to include him in your life and teach him what life is like. He sounds like a very happy boy.
@Maria: It is!
@Scylla: He is, that’s one of the main compliments we hear from strangers.
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