Comments on: Playing together

By: calley

calley — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 06:51:36 +0000

You are implying that the other mothers who are interacting with each other are not as great as you are. I love playing with my son. I’m a stay at home mom and I love being with him. I also like being with other moms and talking to adults. I’m always there for my son but he also needs other children. I enjoy watching him as he makes friends and plays with children his own age. You’re assuming that the other mothers just always ignore their children. I’m sure they too are “on the floor moms” but during a mom group they give their kids the opportunity to play with others.

By: Mattress

Mattress — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 17:10:17 +0000

It’s so adorable that you love to play with your child rather than sitting on a bench with the other moms. I’m so happy to see that you are well aware that your child isn’t going to be a child forever. Enjoy the days with your little ones. Before you know it they’ll be big and off on their own.

By: Tiph

Tiph — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 03:59:45 +0000

I totally understand! Thankfully, I have been blessed to have a group of on-the-floor mamas to interact with… so not only are we visiting with eachother… but we’re also playing (on the floor) with our kids, too…. all together. For me, it is really the best of both worlds. While I agree adult interaction is important… at this season, my daughter is MOST important… children are only little for such a *short* time…. time of which I can’t afford to miss a moment!

By: Theresa

Theresa — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 20:03:02 +0000

As much as I love playing with my baby, I also love when she is happily playing on her own. And if I get to have some adult conversation at the playground while she is playing, WHOO HOO!! Adults! Being a SAHM can be so isolating in our western culture.

By: Maria Blois

Maria Blois — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 03:23:34 +0000

Hmm.. Let’s be careful here. It is wonderful to be tuned in as a parent and but that does not mean that we have to play with our children to the exclusion of adult interaction. Both are necessary and we all find our own comfortable balance.

I, for one, love interacting with other mamas and I expect my children to keep themselves busy while I do so. I am always there for them if they need me, but overall, I leave them to their work of playing. This works for us, but I would never presume that this is the right balance for any other family.

You sound like a beautiful, committed mama and you seem to be having a wonderful time with your child. A perfect combination. Thank you for your post.

By: Derek

Derek — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 16:18:49 +0000

I love playing on the floor with my kids!

I always learn a lot from them, and we really connect on their level.

By: Jess

Jess — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 18:44:44 +0000

My oldest is three and I have felt guilt for three years because I do not enjoy playing. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law are the most devoted on-the-floor-playtime people you will ever meet, and I have felt guilty every moment that I’m not on the floor playing and every moment that I am on the floor but not enjoying it. Lately, I have discovered the things that I do enjoy . . . I LOVE to cook with her. I LOVE doing art projects, taking nature walks, having a cup of tea and chatting together, and doing special activities with her. And I have found that when she has my full attention for these things, that she is content playing by herself at other times when I need to get things done. I think time for freeplay helps develop her imagination as well, and I can enjoy my children so much more when I am parenting from my strengths.

By: Corrina

Corrina — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 16:41:07 +0000

I am also a very tuned in parent. I spend a great deal of time engaged in active play with my daughter. That said, I really enjoy the support of other mothers and their conversations at play groups. I also take great pleasure in watching my child play with other children and watching her embrace her newly found independence. It is so important for children to take steps away from mom when they’re ready and begin to explore the world on their own. Where better to take such small but imperative steps than a play group? I commend you for you active interest in your toddler but I would be careful not to assume that women engaged in adult conversation in these situations don’t enjoy floor-play with their kids.

By: Nykole

Nykole — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 15:16:07 +0000

That post really hit home for me. I’m the mother of a spectacular 15-month-old baby girl who is, of course, the center of my life. But I regularly interact with moms who take a frighteningly hands-off approach to parenting their babies. I’ve heard the word “spoiled” and “demanding” applied to my daughter because she wants my attention she has it.

I do believe that at the heart of this parenting phenomenon is anti-feminism. Motherhood is routinely lauded by the Right, but the type of motherhood they mean is traditional, conventional motherhood that doesn’t respect the child or the mother. It’s not about ensuring that children are engaged and loved, or that women have power to make choices, and the right to care for their children in intuitive ways. It’s about mommy-is-at-home/daddy-is-at-work.

As a feminist, I think of active, engaged, loving mothering of my daughter as something that enriches us both, that is powerful for both of us, that makes the choices I’ve made to eschew the social norms of cribs and formula and crying-it-out and authoritarian parenting, valuable.