From the monthly archives:

October 2008

In Defense of Being Present

October 29, 2008

Oftentimes during my parenting journey, I’ve had to defend several of my choices.
“Yes, he’s still breastfeeding. He’s growing and happy, so it must be all he needs.”
“No, we believe it’s better if he sleeps with us.”
“Oh, the sling is easier for me than a stroller would be.”
Most of these statements and defenses had to be [...]

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Being Present For Another

October 26, 2008

I find the whole concept of “being present” for another person so relevant to our world.  How many of us have not really been given sufficient presence by our parents while we were growing up or even by other influential adults that helped to shape our lives? There really is so much to be said [...]

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Would you like some pictionary with your soup?

October 25, 2008

All this talk about presence has made me re-examine some of the good, and the bad, habits my family has fallen into. When I was a new mom, and therefore full of boundless optimism and energy, I promised my family would never watch television during dinner. I swore that we would use that time to [...]

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What presence means to me

October 24, 2008

I can’t count the number of times that someone has told me that I need to get out of the house without my son.  I’ve been told to get a regular babysitter or to put him in daycare, so that I can have time for myself.  While I agree that moms do need time to [...]

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Using Presence to Raise Independent Children

October 22, 2008

One day, when my son was a baby, I took him to the grocery store. He started to cry, and as I lifted him out of his car seat, a strange woman walked by. “If you do that every time he cries, he’ll never learn to be independent,” she said over her shoulder. I was [...]

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Hey, that was fun!

October 21, 2008

We took the kids to the farm where our milk and beef comes from today.  We got to see the cows being milked, met the young calves, went for a hay ride, sampled the cheese, and enjoyed beautiful weather.
When we got home, my husband John and I remarked to each other that the trip had [...]

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The Carnival of Presence Wrap-up

October 19, 2008

We had many wonderful participants in the first-ever Carnival of Presence here on API Speaks. And that doesn’t include the guest posters and regular contributors who have shared their stories about giving their children presence all month long!
First, I’d like to take a moment to announce the wonderful Attachment Parenting Month prizes we have available [...]

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Enjoy the Now: Being Present With Your Children

October 17, 2008

In dwelling, live close to the ground.
In thinking, keep to the simple.
In conflict, be fair and generous.
In governing, don’t try to control.
In work, do what you enjoy.
In family life, be completely present.
-from the Tao Te Ching, Stephen Mitchell translation
One of the greatest gifts that the natural father can give to his children is to be [...]

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In Lieu of Presents

October 16, 2008

This year’s invitation reads: Ella’s 14th Birthday Party! Bonfire — Music — Food — Fun! In lieu of presents, Ella requests that you please bring an item of warm winter clothing to donate to local children in need.
And every year since 2003 the invitation has had a similar message. One year it was Toys For [...]

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Giving Presence to the Firstborn

October 15, 2008

For several weeks, I’ve been thinking about ways in which I give my children presence.  I’ve thought about different ways I spend time with my kids, the talks we’ve shared, the games we’ve played.  But time and time again, my thoughts returned to one specific incident.
When I was pregnant with my second child, I [...]

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We Can Do This In Our Sleep! Being Present All Through the Night

October 14, 2008

Nighttime has confronted us with some of the most challenging parenting moments we’ve faced so far, but being present for our now 14 month old daughter at three in the morning is just as important as it is at any more reasonable hour. Though it isn’t always as easy, or as pleasant, as engaging her [...]

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