Comments on: Expanding Our Attachment

By: Karolina

Karolina — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 19:55:37 +0000

I find it so sad that birthparents, by law, only have to provide “minimally adequate” care to their children. Blood ties are stressed over the actual care, time, effort, and love that a caretaker is able and willing to provide to the child. My husband and I are foster parents, and our foster daughter, whom we’ve had for 10 months (she’s almost 17 months now) is hopefully going back home to mom this week. If we didn’t befriend her and offer our continued assistance (and have her be open to it), I wouldn’t feel as comfortable having my baby going back to a less than stellar environment. I keep having to tell myself that in the end, even if the day-to-day life may be different than what we would’ve provided, she will grow up with her mother and never have to question why her firstmother abandoned her or gave up on her, thus necessitating that we adopt her. It breaks my heart, but this isn’t about me. She got the best start in life we could’ve provided for her, with tons of affection and attention, and all we can do is hope that she continues to demand it from her mom!

By: Birth order and dependence | sean808080 ohmbase

Birth order and dependence | sean808080 ohmbase — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 12:19:47 +0000

[...] Expanding Our Attachment [...]

By: Nature Deva

Nature Deva — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 21:08:22 +0000

Thanks, you all. I will definitely keep you updated as this progresses.

I know in my area there is a desperate need for more certified families to help out with fostering kids of all ages. There is even a program called “respite care” which basically gives a foster family a break like when they go on vacation and can’t take the foster child with them or if they need a day off to do errands, etc. You would be filling in and watching the child(ren) for a day or a few days so you would be able to help out but not as a long term thing. You do need to have gone through the training classes to be certified with your county.

By: justine

justine — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 20:10:28 +0000

We’ve often considered becoming a foster family for this very reason! It is so wonderful to think of a child who has been through a stressful or traumatic event being able to heal and rest in a loving, trusting, respectful environment.

I hope that you will keep us all updated on this new and exciting journey your family is taking.

Blessings!

By: Theresa

Theresa — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 18:16:05 +0000

How sad is it that there needs to be a law against co-sleeping

You are doing a wonderful thing. Best of luck in your journey.

By: Jessica

Jessica — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 12:03:36 +0000

Melissa, first of all, I admire your family’s choice to foster a child. Right now, a close family member is experiencing something similar (she needed to take custody of her grandchildren for a number of reasons). While she is experiencing some challenging moments being their guardian (and boy does she love them), one comment she made really resonated with me. She said, “As much as they need discipline, they really just need to be loved.”

I totally agree that attachment parenting principles will not only come into play but are wonderful ways to help heal a “broken” child. To be honest, I find that many of the principles may help a “broken” adult learn how to love and be loved too.