Comments on: The Concerns of Co-Sleeping Dads http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2008/07/18/the-concerns-of-co-sleeping-dads/ Sun, 12 Feb 2012 12:11:37 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.5 By: Blog Find: Kids’ Crafts and Outdoor Activities at Green Mamma :: hippie dippie bébé http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2008/07/18/the-concerns-of-co-sleeping-dads/comment-page-1/#comment-1788 Blog Find: Kids’ Crafts and Outdoor Activities at Green Mamma :: hippie dippie bébé Sat, 28 Mar 2009 23:36:28 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=113#comment-1788 [...] If you follow my commenters at all you may have noticed that Jessica, the Green Mamma herself, has been a regular here at hdb since early on. Jessica is a great writer with a firm dedication toward ethics that of course I respect deeply as an ethical mama myself. Some of her articles have also been published on API Speaks. [...] [...] If you follow my commenters at all you may have noticed that Jessica, the Green Mamma herself, has been a regular here at hdb since early on. Jessica is a great writer with a firm dedication toward ethics that of course I respect deeply as an ethical mama myself. Some of her articles have also been published on API Speaks. [...]

]]> By: Green Mamma http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2008/07/18/the-concerns-of-co-sleeping-dads/comment-page-1/#comment-451 Green Mamma Sun, 20 Jul 2008 16:32:01 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=113#comment-451 Thank you for sharing your reflections on cosleeping Mama2HoneyPies. I am looking forward to the day when Annabelle can tell us how much cosleeping means to her, and I agree that my husband is completely normal in his desire to sleep. What human does not like to sleep (except geniuses like Einstein, etc.)? I really believe that building trust with our children early on will reap benefits as they grow into older children, teens, and adults. Cosleeping is like a building block for a solid foundation in our family. Thank you for sharing your reflections on cosleeping Mama2HoneyPies. I am looking forward to the day when Annabelle can tell us how much cosleeping means to her, and I agree that my husband is completely normal in his desire to sleep. What human does not like to sleep (except geniuses like Einstein, etc.)? I really believe that building trust with our children early on will reap benefits as they grow into older children, teens, and adults. Cosleeping is like a building block for a solid foundation in our family.

]]> By: Mama2HoneyPies http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2008/07/18/the-concerns-of-co-sleeping-dads/comment-page-1/#comment-450 Mama2HoneyPies Sun, 20 Jul 2008 16:27:21 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=113#comment-450 I very much want to submit an article for the Journal about co-sleeping because it's actually our favorite Principle. :) Mind you, we started co-sleeping by accident and I cried and cried when my first son was 5 months old because he nursed every 90 mins, night or day. I was so exhausted and I just didn't feel like I could do it anymore. Thankfully I think he sensed it because he dropped one nursing and it felt like heaven to me. Like Julie, we have done our fair share of musical bed solutions and we just finally decided to bet rid of our side-by-side double and queen (dh slept in the double and the boys and I in the queen) and get a king so that we could all be in bed together. We felt like it was sort of putting the idea out there that it was "us and him" and now we feel like it's all "us". My dh has gone through times where he's wanted our bed back exclusively but he also feels, as Jessica suggested, that co-sleeping helps him share quiet, peaceful time connecting with our kids. Both of our boys still share our bed each night. We've never not done it and it's the one main constant in our life w/ kids. While dh and I sometimes want to sleep in a position that was comfy before we had so many people scrunched up next to us, we remember that it's another one of those phases of life that will be gone before we know it. I can't believe that we now have an almost 5 yo or a 2 yo and that the baby hood days are gone. Our co-sleeping days will also become cherished memories but I'm glad that we will have them. I am alive and kickin' despite the fact that I was sure I was going to lose my mind (back when my son was an infant) and have felt so grateful that our kids were in bed when they have had nightmares or developed pneumonia. It's another way in which they learn to trust that others will always be close by when they need it. Jessica, your dh is so normal w/ wanting some good sleep and wanting a couple bed/room again and I'm sure that he'll also be "normal" when Annabelle decides to move out and he has the wealth of memories to share and remember. :) I have no idea when our eldest son will decide to move to his own bed in our room or to his own room but whenever he talks about it he says "I don't want to sleep alone. I want to be next to you. Your so warm and cuddly." I just asked him why he likes to share a bed with us and he said "Because I don't want to be alone. If there's lighting and a storm and rain is hitting my window, I will be scared and I want to be close to my family." Once Annabelle gets older it will be fun for your dh to hear the reasons that she likes to co-sleep with you. :) Thanks for the post and sorry for the long response. It's a topic dear to our hearts. I very much want to submit an article for the Journal about co-sleeping because it’s actually our favorite Principle. :) Mind you, we started co-sleeping by accident and I cried and cried when my first son was 5 months old because he nursed every 90 mins, night or day. I was so exhausted and I just didn’t feel like I could do it anymore. Thankfully I think he sensed it because he dropped one nursing and it felt like heaven to me.

Like Julie, we have done our fair share of musical bed solutions and we just finally decided to bet rid of our side-by-side double and queen (dh slept in the double and the boys and I in the queen) and get a king so that we could all be in bed together. We felt like it was sort of putting the idea out there that it was “us and him” and now we feel like it’s all “us”.

My dh has gone through times where he’s wanted our bed back exclusively but he also feels, as Jessica suggested, that co-sleeping helps him share quiet, peaceful time connecting with our kids.

Both of our boys still share our bed each night. We’ve never not done it and it’s the one main constant in our life w/ kids. While dh and I sometimes want to sleep in a position that was comfy before we had so many people scrunched up next to us, we remember that it’s another one of those phases of life that will be gone before we know it. I can’t believe that we now have an almost 5 yo or a 2 yo and that the baby hood days are gone. Our co-sleeping days will also become cherished memories but I’m glad that we will have them. I am alive and kickin’ despite the fact that I was sure I was going to lose my mind (back when my son was an infant) and have felt so grateful that our kids were in bed when they have had nightmares or developed pneumonia. It’s another way in which they learn to trust that others will always be close by when they need it.

Jessica, your dh is so normal w/ wanting some good sleep and wanting a couple bed/room again and I’m sure that he’ll also be “normal” when Annabelle decides to move out and he has the wealth of memories to share and remember. :)

I have no idea when our eldest son will decide to move to his own bed in our room or to his own room but whenever he talks about it he says “I don’t want to sleep alone. I want to be next to you. Your so warm and cuddly.” I just asked him why he likes to share a bed with us and he said “Because I don’t want to be alone. If there’s lighting and a storm and rain is hitting my window, I will be scared and I want to be close to my family.”

Once Annabelle gets older it will be fun for your dh to hear the reasons that she likes to co-sleep with you. :)

Thanks for the post and sorry for the long response. It’s a topic dear to our hearts.

]]> By: Green Mamma http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2008/07/18/the-concerns-of-co-sleeping-dads/comment-page-1/#comment-449 Green Mamma Fri, 18 Jul 2008 19:50:07 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=113#comment-449 Thanks to Melanie and everyone else. I am looking forward to sharing your comments and suggestions with my husband. It is a sensitive topic of planning a family and continuiing co-sleeping as is. Thanks to Melanie and everyone else. I am looking forward to sharing your comments and suggestions with my husband. It is a sensitive topic of planning a family and continuiing co-sleeping as is.

]]> By: drmariablois http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2008/07/18/the-concerns-of-co-sleeping-dads/comment-page-1/#comment-448 drmariablois Fri, 18 Jul 2008 18:57:11 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=113#comment-448 We have found an extra mattress on the floor alongside our bed to be an excellent option not only for restless toddlers but also for exhausted dads (or moms) who have had enough togetherness for that night. :) We have found an extra mattress on the floor alongside our bed to be an excellent option not only for restless toddlers but also for exhausted dads (or moms) who have had enough togetherness for that night. :)

]]> By: Melanie O. http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2008/07/18/the-concerns-of-co-sleeping-dads/comment-page-1/#comment-447 Melanie O. Fri, 18 Jul 2008 18:50:43 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=113#comment-447 My husband also claims to be bothered by the co-sleeping, yet on nights when I work he puts the baby to sleep with him! We have 3 (almost) former co-sleepers and, honestly, once the second one came around the first rarely came into our bed again. I think they enjoy having another person in the room with them. I often go into their room at night and find the 2 oldest sleeping in the same bed (even though they each have their own)! The "baby" (at 15 months) sleeps on a mattress next to our bed while we transition her to her room with her sisters. This system works wonderfully. My husband also claims to be bothered by the co-sleeping, yet on nights when I work he puts the baby to sleep with him! We have 3 (almost) former co-sleepers and, honestly, once the second one came around the first rarely came into our bed again. I think they enjoy having another person in the room with them. I often go into their room at night and find the 2 oldest sleeping in the same bed (even though they each have their own)! The “baby” (at 15 months) sleeps on a mattress next to our bed while we transition her to her room with her sisters. This system works wonderfully.

]]> By: Green Mamma » Blog Archive » Green Mamma on API Speaks http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2008/07/18/the-concerns-of-co-sleeping-dads/comment-page-1/#comment-446 Green Mamma » Blog Archive » Green Mamma on API Speaks Fri, 18 Jul 2008 18:37:17 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=113#comment-446 [...] If you get a moment, check out my post by clicking here! [...] [...] If you get a moment, check out my post by clicking here! [...]

]]> By: Julie http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2008/07/18/the-concerns-of-co-sleeping-dads/comment-page-1/#comment-445 Julie Fri, 18 Jul 2008 15:26:02 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=113#comment-445 Thanks so much for this post! My DH is a wonderful loving father, but I have to admit that co-sleeping is not his favorite part of the AP equation. We have a real musical bed situation going in our house where Lily (now 2 1/4) starts off in her own bed and either comes to bed with us, or Matt goes to bed with her, at some point in the night. She doesn't nurse at night anymore, just likes to sleep with someone else (can I blame her?), but she's not the best bedfellow, so DH often goes to the guest room when she comes to bed to avoid being kicked or crowded by a baby who likes to sleep perpendicular to her mama. So your husband is not the only one dreaming of a day when baby stays in her own bed all night ;) Thanks so much for this post! My DH is a wonderful loving father, but I have to admit that co-sleeping is not his favorite part of the AP equation. We have a real musical bed situation going in our house where Lily (now 2 1/4) starts off in her own bed and either comes to bed with us, or Matt goes to bed with her, at some point in the night. She doesn’t nurse at night anymore, just likes to sleep with someone else (can I blame her?), but she’s not the best bedfellow, so DH often goes to the guest room when she comes to bed to avoid being kicked or crowded by a baby who likes to sleep perpendicular to her mama.

So your husband is not the only one dreaming of a day when baby stays in her own bed all night ;)

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