Comments on: The Transformation of a High-Needs Child http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2008/05/21/the-transformation-of-a-high-needs-child/ Thu, 17 May 2012 16:35:36 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.5 By: Heather (A Mama's Blog) http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2008/05/21/the-transformation-of-a-high-needs-child/comment-page-1/#comment-171 Heather (A Mama's Blog) Thu, 22 May 2008 05:14:37 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=42#comment-171 It is nice to know, also having a high needs-baby, that they aren't always as demanding as they grow up, as they are as infants. My high-needs baby is turning two tomorrow, and it is amazing how much he has changed, from a baby who could not be put down, into a very independent, and sweet little boy. I know he demanded the attention when he was a baby, because that is what he needed. I am so glad I followed my instincts in responding to Cole when he was a baby- I am sure it will make a difference now, and in the future, like it has with Leif. It is nice to know, also having a high needs-baby, that they aren’t always as demanding as they grow up, as they are as infants.

My high-needs baby is turning two tomorrow, and it is amazing how much he has changed, from a baby who could not be put down, into a very independent, and sweet little boy. I know he demanded the attention when he was a baby, because that is what he needed.

I am so glad I followed my instincts in responding to Cole when he was a baby- I am sure it will make a difference now, and in the future, like it has with Leif.

]]> By: Sonja http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2008/05/21/the-transformation-of-a-high-needs-child/comment-page-1/#comment-170 Sonja Wed, 21 May 2008 22:21:41 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=42#comment-170 Thanks for sharing your story -- I'm so glad things are going well for your family! One of the things that has occurred to me of late is that it is only our cultural expectation that babies ought to be content to sit in bouncy seats, infant swings, car seats, and strollers that causes us to label babies who don't want to do those things as being "high needs". If we expected that what babies wanted was to be held and carried by their parents, it would surprise us that some babies were in fact content to sit by themselves, not the other way around. I only realized in retrospect that many people would have thought my daughter was "high needs" when she was a baby. As an inexperienced new mother (I'd only changed one or two diapers in my life before she was born), it didn't really occur to me that I ought to be able to put her down! My son is 16 months old, and I'm planning to leave him with a non-family babysitter for the first time next week. (He's fine with his father or his grandparents, who he sees often.) We'll see how it goes! Thanks for sharing your story — I’m so glad things are going well for your family!

One of the things that has occurred to me of late is that it is only our cultural expectation that babies ought to be content to sit in bouncy seats, infant swings, car seats, and strollers that causes us to label babies who don’t want to do those things as being “high needs”.

If we expected that what babies wanted was to be held and carried by their parents, it would surprise us that some babies were in fact content to sit by themselves, not the other way around.

I only realized in retrospect that many people would have thought my daughter was “high needs” when she was a baby. As an inexperienced new mother (I’d only changed one or two diapers in my life before she was born), it didn’t really occur to me that I ought to be able to put her down!

My son is 16 months old, and I’m planning to leave him with a non-family babysitter for the first time next week. (He’s fine with his father or his grandparents, who he sees often.) We’ll see how it goes!

]]> By: Nicole http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2008/05/21/the-transformation-of-a-high-needs-child/comment-page-1/#comment-169 Nicole Wed, 21 May 2008 21:59:39 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=42#comment-169 What a great post and great topic! Julie and I were just talking about this the other day, in fact! My oldest, Simon, now 5 was a high needs baby too. He's grown into a surprisingly mellow 5yo. I'm surprised at his adaptability and ability to roll with the punches. He's way more even keel than I was at his age! I wonder if fulfilling his needs as an infant gave him the strong foundation he needed to be OK as he goes out into the world. What a great post and great topic! Julie and I were just talking about this the other day, in fact! My oldest, Simon, now 5 was a high needs baby too. He’s grown into a surprisingly mellow 5yo. I’m surprised at his adaptability and ability to roll with the punches. He’s way more even keel than I was at his age! I wonder if fulfilling his needs as an infant gave him the strong foundation he needed to be OK as he goes out into the world.

]]> By: Sherie http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2008/05/21/the-transformation-of-a-high-needs-child/comment-page-1/#comment-168 Sherie Wed, 21 May 2008 18:35:19 +0000 http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/?p=42#comment-168 What an excellent example of how APing a high-needs baby pays off! We're just now starting to experience some of it, here. I couldn't leave DS until he was about 16 months old, and even then only with his father or dear friend for no longer than 1 1/2 hours. Today (at 18 months), we're up to 3 hours with no tears when I leave or while I'm gone! I've learned in this process to really listen, trust and wait for my son. When he is ready to fly, he'll waste no times in spreading his wings (he's become very attached to our dear AP family friends and neighbors). But try to rush him and ouch! how painful for all of us. What an excellent example of how APing a high-needs baby pays off! We’re just now starting to experience some of it, here. I couldn’t leave DS until he was about 16 months old, and even then only with his father or dear friend for no longer than 1 1/2 hours. Today (at 18 months), we’re up to 3 hours with no tears when I leave or while I’m gone!

I’ve learned in this process to really listen, trust and wait for my son. When he is ready to fly, he’ll waste no times in spreading his wings (he’s become very attached to our dear AP family friends and neighbors). But try to rush him and ouch! how painful for all of us.

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